Your Everyday Life
by Azusasan
Summary: PxF, JxM, shonen-ai & shoujo-ai. Gasp! Azu-san LIVES! Anyway... Mia's a voyeur (Sorta), Picard x Felix waffiness that'll turn anyone into something relatively gloopy, and the MOLESTATION OF FELIX! Buwahaha.
1. Snowdrift

Snowdrift  
  
--By Azusasan--  
  
-|-  
  
Yeah, I know, I should work on my other stories. And to those who think that -- SCREW YOU! ^_^; One shots have always been fun, and when I need to vent and I don't have a story to let it out on, one shots always end up being posted. Fun, ne?  
  
They STILL haven't uploaded the Lost Kingdoms section I asked for... ++  
  
And **NOTE:** If you're reading this JUST cuz I'm on your favorites list, but you don't really like SHONEN-AI/YAOI *or* SHOUJO-AI/YURI --  
  
Get the *hell* out. I mean it. I'm tired of people who review and say they think yaoi/yuri is weird, or I should work on something else, or go back to straight pairings, or they think I'm demented (Which I am, but it'd be nice if you didn't point it out by blatantly saying shonen-ai/yaoi is wrong, because I take offense when you say such things). Reviews are either praises, constructive criticism, or flames that HAVE POINTS TO THEM.  
  
Face it, people: There ARE people who are gay and lesbian out there. There ARE animes/manga where yaoi/yuri is implied, or it actually happens between characters. AND, this is the world of fanfiction, where any situation, plot or pairing is possible to the author's mind. If you don't like it, then for cryin' out loud, DON'T READ IT! I'm sick of you people who think it's wrong!  
  
If you think it's bad: ::Points to the door:: Out. NOW.  
  
If you think it's okay, are cool with it, or enjoy it: Please read on!  
  
And yes, I am writing both shonen-ai and shoujo-ai. The Picard/Felix pairing is just my fetish, the Jenna/Mia thing is in thanks to Selena for changing my views concerning Christianity. And it's nothing tremendous. I'm fine with shoujo-ai, I just don't really like yuri, which is really hardcore. You can't detect the Jenna/Mia unless you look hard for it. Well, it's obvious by Jenna's actions, but... yeah.  
  
Taylor, stop giving the computer that weird look.  
  
My notes are now done. ONWARDS!  
  
-|-  
  
Snowdrift  
  
One Shot  
  
-|-  
  
Create the world you dream of with every choice you make.  
  
-|-  
  
"You think it'll really work?"  
  
"Please, I've been friends with her for a *long* time. She'll be heartbroken, and I'll be right next to her. Thus, she'll turn to me immediately for comfort, and it'll go my way from then on."  
  
"...But why do *I* have to do it?"  
  
"Oh, you can't hide anything from me. I know you have the hots for him."  
  
"...What?"  
  
"You are *so* hopeless..."  
  
"Hey..."  
  
"Anyhow, the plan will be executed tomorrow, alright?"  
  
"Mmph.."  
  
"I'll take that as an 'okay.' G'night, Felix."  
  
"Goodnight, Jenna..."  
  
Felix sighed as he ran a hand through his messy brown hair. How did his sister manage to ensnare him in this devious plot of hers? And it was all for HER benefit! He didn't like him... not at all... Nope. Not one bit.  
  
...Stupid conscious.  
  
-|-  
  
"Wake up, Felix! It's the day we -- "  
  
"Yeah, yeah, give me a few more minutes..." He cut in, stuffing a pillow over his head. He could hear Jenna blow him a raspberry and slam his door shut. Felix didn't *want* to do this crazy plan... He didn't like Picard... No, not at all......  
  
He sat up and threw the pillow across the room, growling at his teasing conscious.  
  
/You know you like him,/ It giggled. /You want to touch his oh-so-sexy body, kiss his lips, run your hands through that beautiful hair.../  
  
"SHUT UP!" He roared, flopping back onto his side, clutching his head.  
  
"What was that, Felix?" Jenna asked, her red head appearing in his open doorway once more.  
  
"Nothing..." He muttered dismally.  
  
-|-  
  
Felix trudged through the snow, glaring at the whiteness so hard it would be a wonder if it didn't melt and evaporate on the spot. Jenna was humming, and skipping beside him, occasionally reaching up to pick a little snowflake out of the sky with one of her gloved hands. It was amazing that she was in a good mood, considering the turmoil her brother's was in.  
  
Once they reached a fork in the path, Jenna bid him goodbye and good luck, and headed toward Mia's home in reasonably good spirits. Felix, with a roll of the eyes, adjusted the scarf around his neck, and went onwards to Picard's.  
  
It wasn't long before Picard's small home was in sight, and Felix, his teeth chattering and his hands numb, ran to the door in hopes of a warm hearth waiting behind it. He knocked, and knocked again, and in desperation pounded on the door, but alas, Picard was out. With a grumble he turned around, knowing he would have to search for the Lemurian despite his hatred towards this crazy plan of his sister's.  
  
But...  
  
A snowball met him face as he was stepping off the porch. With a quick swipe of his coat sleeve, he brushed the iciness off, then looked around for the perpetrator. Hm, no one in sight...  
  
Another snowball met -- much to his embarassment and horror -- his backside. Glaring at the snowy environment, he demanded silently of the skeletal trees around him to give up the offender without a fight. Glancing around the area one more time, he caught a flash of blue amidst the pure white --  
  
Felix ducked as a snowball whizzed at his head, scooping up some snow as he began running towards the tree it had been shot from. He narrowed his eyes as the blue flash sped off towards the nearby forest.  
  
You aren't getting off with hitting my rear, Picard! Felix thought, a wicked grin spreading on his face.  
  
-|-  
  
Meanwhile, Picard was running for his dear life as a very angry Felix chased after him, shooting snowball after snowball at his retreating form. He turned sharply to the right, then crouched behind the trees, molding a snowball in his hands. This would buy him some time.  
  
He could hear the snow crunching underfoot as Felix drew near. Inching backwards to gain a slight advantage, Picard hid the hand holding the snowball behind his back, his legs as terse as an arrow strung in a bow.  
  
"Ha, I've got you now..." Felix said, panting, as he turned the corner and stood before Picard.  
  
"Oh, so you have..." Picard pouted. "...Not!" He flung the snowball as hard as he could at the Venus adept. Cackling wildly, he ran off once more.  
  
-|-  
  
Oh, that jerk...  
  
/Yes, the sexy jerk.../  
  
Yeah, that sexy jerk. I'll make him pay!  
  
/Mmhmm.../  
  
Felix was in mid-run when he noticed this conversation-of-sorts finally sunk it. Whatever, though, he still had a Mercury adept to catch.  
  
As he ran, he came to a portion of the woods that had paths leading in three separate directions from where he stood. His eyesight would do no good here. He closed his eyes and listened. He could hear the river, its soft gurgle echoing throughout the trees. A bird chirped up above. Distantly, he could hear loud talking.  
  
Felix, however, wasn't disturbed by any of that. Tuning out the louder noises, he heard a very soft, but very distinct snap. A twig crushed by a shoe. He turned towards the left, moving very slowly, seeming to stare straight ahead, but he was actually relying more on his peripheral vision. Trees, trees, a deer perhaps... Ah, blue. He walked a bit further than necessary, as though stopping to think about his choice of paths.  
  
Felix took one more step. He could hear a quiet exhale of breath. Ha, don't feel confident now.  
  
"You're mine!" He yelled as he pivoted suddenly and leaped for the hidden water adept. Picard yelped as Felix tackled him to the cold ground.  
  
The Venus adept smirked down at his captured prey. He was straddling Picard's waist, and his hands pinned the Lemurian's shoulders down. It didn't occur to him that he was in a rather... *Compromising* position.  
  
"Now..." Felix whispered, lowering his head to brush his lips against Picard's ear. "What shall I do with my prey...?"  
  
He could feel the shivers that racked Picard's body once he had done that. The Lemurian didn't meet his gaze as he normally would have when confronted, and that bothered Felix slightly. Lifting his head, he pressed a light kiss to Picard's jaw, and when he didn't respond, Felix kissed his chapped lips, soothing the small tears in the delicate flesh with his tongue. That action finally got some *reaction* from Picard. Felix, in fact, was very much surprised with what he did.  
  
Picard threw Felix off of him.  
  
Picard, of course, took off running. Felix lay slouched against the tree he had (Most unfortunately) the opportunity to meet during his flight. With a groan, he rubbed his sore head and lurched to his feet. And it was going so *well*...  
  
-|-  
  
Picard was shaken. Very badly shaken. He didn't know Felix was *capable* of doing something like that! Nor did he know Felix was the type to make the first move...  
  
He then decided that, should he ever be in a relationship, he would never be the submissive one.  
  
Picard sat down inside a ring of trees that created a sort of semi-circle around him. He had never been truly sure of his mess of feelings for Felix. Sure, the brunet was cute, was good at the sword, and as he had recently found out, was certainly capable of being naughty. But still, his true feelings? They went unspoken.  
  
The Lemurian tensed as the sound of crunching snow met his ears. Already, that psycho Venus adept had found him? Felix stood several feet before his hiding spot, peering around at the trees and adjusting his scarf while doing so. Completely unaware... Or so Picard thought. The last time, he thought he had gotten off, but Felix had just been acting.  
  
He stood. Felix was apparently unaware, as he had not moved from his spot, but was not listening particularly for anything. Being a Mercury adept made it easy for him to move swiflty and silently in the snow, and, soon enough, Felix squeaked as a pair of arms wrapped around his torso.  
  
Picard rested his chin on Felix's shoulder, breathing in the scent of the Venus adept mingled with snow. Felix moved his head, trying to meet his eyes, but it was futile, as Picard's eyes were closed.  
  
"Picard..." Felix murmured, wiggling in Picard's tight grasp. The Lemurian's arms slackened slightly, enough for Felix to turn around and face him. "Let me kiss you..."  
  
The golden eyes opened, and a small smile graced Picard's lips. Felix reached upwards, cupping his face in his gloved hands. After a slight, awkward pause, Felix leaned forward to press his lips forcefully against Picard's own. All of their hesitancy and embarassment from before melted away as soon as their mouths contacted. Felix's hands wandered downwards to Picard's shoulders, massaging them momentarily, then they crawled back up to settle around his neck. Picard's hands combed through Felix's dark, loose locks, marveling at the soft silkiness they possessed.  
  
And throughout this entire time, their lips had never stopped ravaging the other's.  
  
That is, until a shriek pierced the air and the moment was broken.  
  
Picard pressed Felix's smaller form against him protectively, although they were both completely aware of the fact Felix could take down any terrors on his own. There, up the path, stood Jenna and Mia. Mia was sobbing into Jenna's shoulder, and the Mars adept was patting her hair comfortingly. Momentarily, though, Jenna looked up from the Mercury adept she held to -- very discreetly -- wink at Felix, who winked back at her. Picard blinked and looked down at Felix, who had his face buried in the Lemurian's chest.  
  
...Was there something going on he had no knowledge of?  
  
-|-  
  
"See, it wasn't so bad. We both won in the end, in fact!" Jenna smiled, stirring her tea. Felix rolled his eyes.  
  
"Picard was demanding to know what was going on, but since I didn't want to be brutally murdered because it was all a setup, I had to throw another snowball at him and be chased down all over again." He took a deep swallow of the hot tea. "It wasn't fun, to say in the least."  
  
"Yeah, but we both got who we wanted, right?"  
  
Felix blushed hotly as Jenna giggled at him from across the small table.  
  
"I... It was all an act, you know." He said defensively, glowering at his tea.  
  
"Oh, it's alright, Felix! I understand." She grinned like the proverbial cat that had eaten the canary. "You're just too embarassed to admit that you've secretly harbored feelings for our lovely Picard all this time, aren't you?"  
  
"T-t-that's not the case!"  
  
"Your stammering proves everything, dear brother of mine. And, the way you were kissing him back there -- that couldn't have been an act."  
  
"Jenna!"  
  
The red-head laughed at him gleefully.  
  
"Yes, I love you too, Felix. 'Night!"  
  
Felix growled as she deposited her cup in the sink and headed upstairs.  
  
He had to love that crazy sister of his, though he hated to admit it.  
  
-|-  
  
E n d e  
  
-|-  
  
That was fun. And, see, the Jenna/Mia was barely detectable!  
  
[Taylor: Nonetheless...]  
  
[Felix: How DARE you! Putting me with Picard AND setting my sister up with Mia!]  
  
Yes, I dared to. ^o^ And I wuv you too, Felix-kun. Anyhow, I don't want any of those comments I mentioned above. I think, that if I get anymore, I'll block those offenders and not allow any anonymous reviews. Won't that be fun? The only person I'm accepting weird comments from is Taylor, because she's got a sort of crisis on her hands, and although I can't particularly relate to her, I'm helping with this problem of sorts. Nobody else. GOT THAT?! *Coff*ShadowandShiro*Coff*  
  
[Stephanie: Whoa... That was weird.]  
  
Hey, I'm weird too, so wouldn't it make sense that the stories I write would be weird as well? ^^  
  
[Stephanie: You have a point...]  
  
And, y'know, the title had NOTHING whatsoever to do with the plot... I intended to use a snowdrift, but then... My fingers typed otherwise. Yeah, that's it.  
  
NO NEGATIVE COMMENTS ON SHONEN-AI/YAOI OR SHOUJO-AI/YURI! OR ELSE!  
  
--REViEW-- 


	2. Considering My Own Happiness

Considering My Own Happiness  
  
(AKA Selfish Felix! XD And crazy, hormone-high subconsciouses!)  
  
--Also by Azusasan *Sigh*--  
  
-|-  
  
Okay.  
  
So I lied.  
  
Snowdrift will have a second chapter!  
  
NO MORE! X_X Homework is eeeevil. I mean, I don't have a lot, but... it serves as a good excuse to avoid my stories! ^_^;; And piano theory homework is an evil biznatch too...  
  
[Taylor: *Rolls eyes* Don't make me ask if I can borrow Menardi from Vyctori...]  
  
Nooo! Not another evil, constantly PMS-ing woman here! 0_o!! I'll be good! I swear!  
  
[Taylor: *Glares*]  
  
Meep. ._.;;  
  
I luvs my Picard/Felix yaoi fanfiction. ^_^ Once tntkablooie is (FINALLY) up and running, I'm gonna make a * *GS Yaoi Fanlisting* *! XD  
  
[Taylor: *Sighs*]  
  
Hey, I'm paying my half, AND I AM the second webmistress of the website, the other being Taylor here. ^_^ If you wanna help (I'll DECLARE when construction on it will start!) with HTML, the fanlisting layout (Some fanlisting layouts are UBER pretty... *_*), banners, and all that other junk, contact either moi (oEggplanto@aol.com) or Taylor (jtaylor1634@aol.com), or even mail out joint mailbox (tntkablooie@earthlink.net). Thanxx to all you supporters of yaoi! ::UBER GLOMPS::  
  
[Felix: *Grumbling* Maybe they DON'T want a psychotic, yaoi-loving, GS- playing otaku to love them forever...]  
  
Oh, good point. ::Thinks:: Then I'll dedicate something to you! ::Glomps reviewers:: ^o^ I wonder if there's a possibility of blackmailing Shadow in drawing something... Maybe. Felix with a bouquet of flowers, or maybe Alex- kun! ^^ Anyhow, enough of my ranting. GS YAOI FANLISTING! ...Once tntkablooie is up and running. Which might be a while, since we started the site in like... early summer, or so, and we've barely touched it. ^_^;; Snowdrift: Chapter two: Considering My Own Happiness! ENJOY!  
  
Picard has a sarcastic subconscious now, too! ^_^;; And, a few mentions of weird pairings... Isaac/Feizhi, for one. 0 o Look! Picard-kun's not as eloquent as we first thought! XD  
  
-|-  
  
Snowdrift --  
  
-- Considering My Own Happiness  
  
-|-  
  
True hearts that share one love, one life, will always know true joy. -- Jason Blake  
  
[Hey! Listen to Do As Infinity's "Signal" sometime! ::Dances:: It's kewlies!  
  
[Taylor: ...-_- *Drags Azu by the ear back to the computer*]  
  
Oww!]  
  
-|-  
  
-- Dear Feizhi,  
  
I'm sorry I haven't written for a long time -- I'm aware of how constantly worried you are about us since the Golden Age came. Really, you shouldn't be worried, we *are* the Adepts that saved the world, right? Well, I guess we might also be the same Adepts that could be the *end* of the world, but... let's not discuss that right now.  
  
Isaac is still leading the lonely bachelor's life -- I've heard Kraden go on about you liking him, why not give it a chance? I mean, since my sister currently has her hands full with Mia, and Sheba's in Contigo right now, searching for her past... --  
  
Felix's pencil stopped in midair.  
  
With a groan, he dropped his head onto the desk, thudding it repeatedly against the varnished wood.  
  
/What's wrong with me? I always have to bring up the relationship between Jenna and Mia.../ He sighed and propped his chin up in his hands, staring out the nearby window wistfully. Said two girls were sitting out on the front lawn, looking over some clothing designs Ivan had brought back recently from his trip to Kalay.  
  
Did he mention they were snuggling, too?  
  
/I'm happy for them and all.../ He picked up the piece of paper he had been writing on, and crumpled it up into a ball, throwing it onto the precariously teetering pile of other discarded letters in the overflowing wastebasket in the corner. /...but they've been the talk of the town lately./  
  
It was true; talk of the two was spreading like wildfire, and he was sure Lord McCoy in Bilibin had heard the tale as well.  
  
Of course, the fat oaf would've probably been giddy at the aspect of those two in love.  
  
/That unloyal husband.../  
  
(A/N: Isaac and the negligee! XD I luff Riyn's story!)  
  
Everybody else didn't seem to really mind, or masked their distaste well. He was sure Garet -- that jerk -- was enjoying the spectacle. (Garet now sported a black eye after Felix had caught him staring at them as though they were the most fascinating things in Weyard.) Isaac didn't mind, Ivan didn't mind (Felix got the eerie feeling the Wind adept liked Isaac in some fashion), and Picard. . .  
  
/Not Picard.../  
  
/You like him!/  
  
/...When did YOU get back from your trip to the Apojii Islands?!/  
  
/Oh, just recently. Got a tan!/  
  
Felix massaged his eyes tiredly, giving up on trying to imagine that potentially-scary image.  
  
/MAYBE I like him. Go away, I have a headache./  
  
/I know how you could get riiiid of it!/  
  
/How? It feels like I dropped a Clay Spire on myse -- Hey!/  
  
/Aww, it almost worked.../  
  
Felix blushed a hot red, and burrowed his face into his arms, trying desperately to tune out the teasing voice of his subconscious. He knew people could have split personalities, but this was just ridiculous.  
  
/Hey! Are you calling me ridiculous?/  
  
/It took you that long to figure that bit of information out?/  
  
/Meanie! Go jump Picard!/  
  
He sighed.  
  
-|-  
  
Picard had only recently came back to Vale from Lumeria -- well, who in their right mind would pass up a chance to go to Kraden's 80th birthday party?  
  
/Well,/ He mused, /Maybe I didn't come just to make fun of Kraden like everyone else did.../  
  
Oh yes, he had his reasons. One of the bigger ones was that little slip of a thing called Felix...  
  
/I promised myself I wouldn't think of Felix.../ Picard groaned, running a hand through his surprisingly silky blue hair.  
  
/You're thinking of him agaaaainn.../  
  
/My subconscious is being evil! Why does Iris hate me so.../  
  
/Yes, that's it! Feel bad, and then go crying to Felix for comfort! You know he'll give it to you, and probably much more!/  
  
/...I should hope Felix doesn't have this problems as well./  
  
/Aww... You're feeling pity for the cute thing!/ He could swear it snickered.  
  
/Hey, if you're teasing me about liking him... does that mean you like him, too?/  
  
/You know, Felix's subconscious is kinda sexy.../  
  
/Ohhh, bad images.../  
  
Thankfully, that Evil Subconscious of his flitted off into some other dimension (Or possibly it went off onto one of its little 'expeditions'), and left him to his own personal, private thoughts.  
  
Or maybe it was just being quiet (For once) and scribbling all he thought down onto some yellow pad of paper and looking shifty while doing so.  
  
/Where do I get these ideas?/ Picard wondered to himself, retying his hair.  
  
(A/N: XD I should make the second genre of this humor....)  
  
Since the last Felix-incident (The one involving snow), the poor Venus Adept had been as jittery as popping corn. ( ;;) Around him, at least. When he had inquired of Jenna of it, she had brushed it off, saying she 'knew nothing,' and if she did, she 'wouldn't tell for her own personal safety.'  
  
Damn bond between those two siblings.  
  
He had thought Felix had actually felt *something* for him -- but that hope had always been dwindling, and by now, there were only a few grains of it, at the bottom of the Jar of Hope. He still had hope for other things, of course -- the Golden Age's peace remaining sound and intact, for one, and Isaac and Feizhi to eventually 'click,' as Sheba put it.  
  
/So hope for Felix is... gone?/  
  
Stupid subconscious of his was back again...  
  
/You finished screwing Felix's inner thoughts?/ Though the thoughts only rang in his head, it sounded harsher than he had first intended.  
  
/No,/ it said, surprisingly morosely. /There was a 'Sorry, I'm out and experiencing NEW THINGS' sign on the door.../  
  
Since when were there doors for subconsciouses? (Did I spell that right? o O)  
  
/But... there's no more hope for Felix?/ It asked again.  
  
/Never was any./  
  
/Really.../ It seemed to shift around a little before continuing. /Why can't you transfer some of that hope for the Golden Age's harmonious peace to last for years to come into the 'I hope Felix is madly in love with me' part of the Jar of Hope?/  
  
/It doesn't work that way,/ Picard replied crossly. /Otherwise, I would've done it a long time before./  
  
There was such a long silence, Picard had thought the Evil Subconscious had flit out again, until it spoke up again, softly, completely uncharacteristically:  
  
/But... there are still a few grains, right? A little bit is still better than nothing./  
  
/But it's practically nothing. I don't know why I even have a threadbare hope in Felix anymore.../  
  
/Hey, look./  
  
/I can't see what you're seeing./  
  
/You said there were a few grains?/  
  
/Practically nothing./  
  
/The sign on Felix's inner thought's door says, now: 'Trying to persuade Felix into admitting that he loves Picard.'/  
  
-|-  
  
"Hey, Mi..."  
  
"What is it, Jenna?"  
  
"Picard's going back to Lemuria tomorrow, isn't he?"  
  
"Yes, he is... It seems like it's only been a few days, and it's been over two weeks."  
  
"Fast how time flies, huh?" Jenna asked bemusedly.  
  
"Mm..." Mia replied, gazing blankly at her hands in her lap. "It seems as though there's something... wrong.. with Picard."  
  
"Yeah, I noticed, too." Jenna drew her arms around her knees. "Hey, you aren't... aren't mad, are you?"  
  
"Mad? Of course not! That's probably the only time I'm glad that you're such a scheming person."  
  
"Oh, really? Remember Isaac's last birthday party -- "  
  
"That's not something I want to dwell on, Jenna..." Mia sighed.  
  
"That was FUN, though! That look on his face..." Jenna argued. "But back on subject... I think my brother's really in love with him."  
  
"Those words were never exchanged, though, were they?" The healer fiddled with the hem of a sleeve, looking at her companion with a thoughtful expression.  
  
"The special words? No. But deep down..."  
  
"...he wants to." Mia cast her blue eyes down at the ground. Jenna took her hand and interwove their fingers, standing and pulling her up with her.  
  
"Come on, let's go inside. Felix is going to get worried about me soon."  
  
"At your age?"  
  
"It's a habit of his, you know, since the whole Golden Sun thing."  
  
Mia smiled faintly as Jenna tugged her along to the porch. Maybe something could work out -- their bunch was known for being rather spontaneous.  
  
Especially Jenna, of course, and now that she thought about it --  
  
"You aren't planning anything again, are you?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, 'course not..." Jenna said placidly, a carefree smile on her face. Mia frowned.  
  
"Jenna..."  
  
"He's MY brother!" Jenna rolled her eyes. "I can push him around however *I* want!"  
  
Mia could now declare to the world -- she was worried.  
  
-|-  
  
THE NEXT DAY --  
  
-|-  
  
"Hey, Felix..."  
  
Jenna poked her head into Felix's room, finding it most odd that he didn't reply at all. He was looking out the window and balancing a pencil on the edge of his nose.  
  
He was also leaning back in his chair.  
  
/Booyah!/ Jenna's mind shrieked happily.  
  
She tiptoed up behind him, studying the angle of the chair. Perfect.  
  
"FELIX!"  
  
Jenna paused.  
  
Wait a second!  
  
No Felix hitting floor!  
  
Bad! As in -- not good -- bad!  
  
She moved in front of him, blocking sight of the window. No movement -- his eyes hadn't even blinked. Jenna did a little dance, and still no signs of intelligence from her brother. With a sigh, she reached over and snatched the pencil from Felix's nose.  
  
He abruptly fell over, flailing, the chair clattering to the floor noisily.  
  
"Finally!" Jenna sighed exasperatedly. "Were you getting another premonition from the Wise One, or something?"  
  
Felix still didn't answer -- he had hit his head pretty hard when he dramatically met the floor.  
  
"Owwww...."  
  
Brothers were such idiots sometimes...  
  
"Anyway," Jenna said casually, glancing at her nails, "I came up to tell you that Picard's leaving in about five minutes or so."  
  
She turned and walked over to the window Felix had been staring out of, glancing around and enjoying the summer breeze.  
  
"It'd be a wonder if he isn't out the gate already..."  
  
Jenna looked over her shoulder and saw that there was nobody else in the room.  
  
Oh, Mia was SO going to hate her for this.  
  
(A/N: Jenna's such a conniving little fox! XD)  
  
-|-  
  
/Oh Iris, I hope he isn't gone yet -- I haven't told him anything, and if he leaves, I won't likely have contact with him for another good five months or so unless.../  
  
/Shut your trap and just run!/ Felix's subconscious barked. For once, Felix listened, shut up, and ran like the dickens.  
  
As he ran up one fairly steep hill, he could see a flash of blue -- Picard, hopefully. Fortunately for him, it was Picard, and as he managed the last few steps to the top, he silently thanked the gods for whatever lucky break they had given him as he collapsed on the grass.  
  
Picard, in fact, was not leaving for at least another day. He obviously had no idea of this second setup of Jenna's, and thus, had no idea as of why a near-to-dead-Felix was sprawled out near his feet.  
  
"Felix... What are you doing here?" He knelt, resisting the urge to stroke some of the brown hair out of his eyes.  
  
"Je... Jenna told me... that you were... leaving... now...."  
  
/...What?/  
  
"I'm not leaving for possibly quite a while, Felix. ...Felix... are you alright?"  
  
"Fine... fine... perfectly fine..." Deep down inside, however, he was figuring out various ways to maim that sister of his and leave the scene before Mia found out... He managed to pull himself up to his knees, still panting heavily. Gods, when WAS the last time he had run so hard?  
  
/The time Sheba caught me reading her journal back in... Oh, where was it?/  
  
/You still have no time to dwell on this! And that was in Mikasalla, just to remind you!/  
  
/Oh!/  
  
[Felix's subconscious: -__-;;;]  
  
"Are you sure you're fine?"  
  
"Fine." He snapped, ignoring the hand Picard held out to him, but nonetheless contradicting his words by holding his side.  
  
/Hey hey hey! Don't be mean to him! Especially the new discovery that YOU LOVE HIM! was recently declared official!/  
  
/It wasn't declared official!/  
  
/YES IT WAS! Don't argue with your subconscious, boy! Why, back in my day -- /  
  
/Are you admitting you're older than I once thought, then?/  
  
/What are you getting at?!/  
  
Picard stared at Felix sadly, then sighing and looking back over Vale. So maybe Felix's subconscious hadn't succeeded...  
  
"I'm sorry." Felix murmured, rubbing the stitch in his side carefully. "Jenna just told me that you were leaving, and I'm just mad at her for lying to me like that..."  
  
"Is that all you came here for?"  
  
He was surprised at the question. What was THAT supposed to mean?  
  
"Wha -- what?"  
  
Picard didn't respond, bowing his head slightly as he stared at the rooftops of the small town where heroes had emerged from.  
  
Felix felt a pang of guilt streak through him.  
  
/Does he mean -- /  
  
/It's as obvious as daylight that he cares for you IN MORE THAN ONE WAY, you idiot!/  
  
/ -- Oh./  
  
[Felix's subconscious: -_____-;;;;;]  
  
"No, that's not all I came here for..." He paused to consider his next words. "I'm sorry... again. For leading you on like that since winter, and it was just for Jenna's benefit..." The Venus Adept smiled ruefully. "People think I make such a good elder brother, just because I would sacrifice anything for the health and happiness of my little sister. I've never really considered my... own happiness..."  
  
"Felix... You care so much about Jenna and everyone else... Were... you ever aware others cared deeply about you, too?"  
  
"I'm sure the obviousness in that has struck me, before, but... I've never truly basked in the glow of it." Felix continued to smile as he turned his gaze towards the ground. "Imagine, experiencing things like lighting the lighthouses and sailing around Weyard, and never bothering to think about the people who cared for me..."  
  
He had to laugh at the absurdity of it all.  
  
Picard was silent despite Felix's seemingly cheerful laughter.  
  
"It's nice to know people care a lot about me, despite my flaws and short- comings." He sighed softly. "And they all worry about me, and I worry about them, but I've never really worried over myself..."  
  
/Why doesn't he say anything?/  
  
"Picard, I've thought a lot about it... and..."  
  
/I can't say it! It's stuck, and it doesn't want to come out!/  
  
/You don't want me to force it out, do you?!/  
  
/No!/  
  
/Speak up, then! Idiot../  
  
/I heard that!/  
  
/Duh, I'm your subconscious!/  
  
[Felix: -___-;;]  
  
"...I love you." Felix murmured plainly, the flush on his cheeks from running deepening in color. "And if you hate me, it's okay, I know I shouldn't have done what I did, and -- "  
  
Picard turned and pressed a finger to his lips. Felix blinked, taken aback momentarily.  
  
The world seemed to have stopped moving. He held his breath as warm lips that felt like rich silk pressed against his, tentative. The scene back in the snow a few seasons ago ran through his head -- that perfect kiss, ruined only by the entrace of his sister and her crush...  
  
"Felix!"  
  
/....Damn her!/  
  
/Ditto./  
  
"Felix, there you are! ...Oh, was I interrupting a *moment*?"  
  
"Jenna..." Felix growled. "Of all the times you could've -- "  
  
"Um, I think Mia's calling me in for lunch! I, um, I'll see you, Felix!" Jenna skittered away quickly, occasionally looking back at them.  
  
"That was... interesting." Picard remarked dryly, drawing his arms around the seething Venus Adept.  
  
"Shut up!" Felix shrieked. "Jenna ruins everything with her evil schemes, and I know she's planning world domination!"  
  
"Felix... Are you sure you aren't overreacting?"  
  
"Does it look like I'm overreacting?!"  
  
Picard sighed.  
  
"You must understand, Felix, that this won't be the most... balanced... relationship around..."  
  
"Of course not! Weyard has never been the same since we lit the lighthouse, everything's been out of order since, and pure chaos is running rampant here in Vale, too! What with my sister -- who's planning world domination, and her lover, who... who... I don't know, but she looks suspicious too! And..."  
  
/Iris, why did I have to fall in love with *him*?/ Picard wondered to himself, taking Felix's hand and dragging him back to his home.  
  
"...And you remember that cow, right? The one we gave the red scarf to? Why in the seven hells would a cow want a scarf? To make better milk? That's not a sound excuse! And where are you taking me, anyhow?" Felix paused in his ranting to take a deep breath.  
  
"Back to your home," Picard answered evenly. When Felix opened his mouth to protest, he kissed him lightly on the lips once more. "There are more entertaining things to do than to listen to hear you talk about your evil sister and cows with red scarves."  
  
Felix worked his mouth a few times, then promptly shut up.  
  
"...Home?"  
  
"Trust me, you'll be entertained."  
  
Felix blushed.  
  
/Iris, what did I get into.../  
  
/Hey, he's got the right idea! ^O^/  
  
/Shut up, you. - -;;/  
  
-|-  
  
E n d e  
  
-|-  
  
You know, now that I think about it, this could wind up an epic series of short stories of... um... mishaps Felix and Picard get into! Or something. I dunno. School's a big biznatch, like it is for everyone else... I need to update both TLE and The Elements, or I know Taylor and Vyctori will come after me with various sharp items. I had to give you a set of throwing knives... -__-  
  
[Taylor: They're cool! Look! *Throws knife at Saddam Hussein's face tacked onto a wall*]  
  
[Iz: *Claps* Right between the eyes! ^o^]  
  
[Felix: -__-;;;; Stop putting me through this!]  
  
[Taylor: *Glomps* Let him stay at my place!]  
  
In that tiny ten-by-ten or so room of yours? Don't think so...  
  
[Taylor: It's not ten-by-ten! It's more like... Uh... Fifteen-by-ten!]  
  
[Felix: ....]  
  
[Iz: o 0;;]  
  
ANYhow.... I'm getting funny ideas about this story. ^_^ I think it'd be funny if Felix and Jenna (Yes! The evil, planning world -- er, Weyard-- domination!) discussed the cow with the red scarf thing. ^_^;  
  
[Iz: That's an inside joke from SE! ^o^]  
  
Yep. ^_^;;; Tell me what you peeps think, it'd be most interesting... Yes... Especially once Felix remembered the dog drinking milk. ~_~;;  
  
Should I continue this? I'd find it most interesting... I'm sure the rest of you would, too. XD  
  
-REViEW, AS AlWAYS- 


	3. Merely Simplistic Creatures

Merely Simplistic Creatures  
  
-- Agh! Freakin' computer hates me! --  
  
Gomen nasai! ;-;() ::Bows:: My computer hates the horizontal 'v' signs (I can't type it out unless I want a fourth of my writing DELETED!), and so, if I ever do it... Yeah. A chunk of text disappears. 0 o I'm sorry, really. Just re-read the first part of the second chapter, and all will be made clear... Maybe. ::Kicks comp::  
  
[Taylor: Finish homework?]  
  
Hey! O o Since when do you keep track of homework?!  
  
[Taylor: *Glares*]  
  
...Um. Duh, yeah, you're the accountant-of-sorts. ^_^;; Everyone wish her and Iz a happy birthday! Oh, and me too! It was on the 18th... Phooie. Nobody except Drago-san seemed to remember!  
  
[Felix: -_- They didn't WANT to remember...]  
  
....T.T  
  
[Iz: Um... That wasn't a nice thing to say, Felix-san. o.o;;]  
  
[Aurican: u_u Do start running, sir.]  
  
[Felix: 0.o!!]  
  
YOUR BASIC WARNINGS: The regular shonen-ai/shoujo-ai thing, Felix's ideas about cows, his sister, and how they're tied to world domination, evil Mias, weird pairings, and... ummmm... A scary Hsu? O.o;;. . . . . .  
  
PAIRINGS: PicardxFelix, JennaxMia, Isaac/Feizhi (So far. ^_~ If you don't like the I/F pairing, don't worry, I won't go in-depth about it... But it's fun!)  
  
-|-  
  
Merely Simplistic Creatures --  
  
-- The tale of the cow  
  
-|-  
  
"So, what you're saying is... is that the cow is secretly planning world domination?"  
  
"Yes! You finally understand!"  
  
"....No. No, I don't, Felix."  
  
Felix stared, aghast, at Picard, who was calmly stirring his tea.  
  
"Picard! Why don't you understand?!"  
  
"Understand what?"  
  
Felix blinked and turned around to see Jenna standing at the door, a plate of cookies in one hand. She walked over and deposited the treats in front of him, then put her hands on her hips.  
  
"Are you going on about the cow again?" She asked suspiciously.  
  
"Yes he is."  
  
"But -- the cow! Why did it want the scarf? It was RED! Blood is RED!"  
  
Jenna and Picard exchanged glances.  
  
"Yes, Felix, blood IS red. And so, if I decided to strangle you, then slice you into little pieces, the floor would be covered in RED blood." Jenna said icily, picking up a cookie and stuffing it into his mouth ruthlessly.  
  
Felix meeped.  
  
"Now, you be a good boy and don't cause me or Mia any trouble. Is that clear?"  
  
Felix nodded.  
  
"Good!"  
  
She pat him on the head as one would pat an obedient dog, then left, waving at Picard.  
  
"You know, it's a good thing you didn't start on the bird." Picard remarked casually, biting into one of Mia's oatmeal cookies.  
  
"Shut up." Felix snapped, but with the cookie still stuffed down his throat, it came out more like "Hut uff."  
  
-|-  
  
Meanwhile, in Xian...  
  
-|-  
  
"Feizhi! You've received a letter!"  
  
A letter? Now *that's* unheard of...  
  
Glad to finally have an excuse to get away from Hsu and his poorly strategized advances on her, Feizhi rose from her seat and accepted the letter with a murmuring of thanks. As Hsu scrambled over to 'help with the opening of the letter,' she moved quickly around him to the private room she shared with her father and shut the door, locking it.  
  
/That man is too... too prying.../ Feizhi thought tiredly, plopping herself down on her bed and opening the envelope. /Oh, it's from Felix!/  
  
It read:  
  
Dearest Feizhi,  
  
I hope this letter reaches you in good health and good spirits, as some unsightly things will likely be discussed in the body of this letter. But don't be too distraught; some pleasant things will be spoken of as well.  
  
...Picard wrote that, by the way. I'm not that eloquent. The only other person I can think of that's that eloquent is Isaac, and speaking of Isaac... He's still a lonely bachelor, you know. And, don't hit me for saying this, but you're single as well, right? Unless Hsu's managed to steal your heart, and I... forgive me for saying this, but I don't think he could manage you. Isaac's saved the world, though! He's tough, I'm sure he could handle you even on your times-of-the-month.  
  
Sorry for the big ink blot there. I rewrote this at least several million times, and I don't want to start over just because Jenna slapped me over the head and made me spill ink. Don't be offended; I just can't feel my wrist. You'd be pretty grumpy if you couldn't feel your wrist AND your sister is hurling forks at you every once in a while. That would explain the red blot to the upper right hand side, Mia made some sort of pasta tonight, and... yeah.  
  
Gah, people just hate me nowadays or something. Picard just hit me, and he said it's just because I get off topic way too often. Sure, maybe that's true, but at least I don't look like a gi -- oh, wait, my hair grew out again. Then bite me!  
  
No, I didn't actually want you to do that, you idiot. That hurt. And I didn't know you were a sadomasochist at any rate. ...Am I scaring you, Feizhi? I'm sorry, but as Picard wrote, some unsightly things ARE being discussed. It's a pretty one-sided conversation so far, in my opinion -- Jenna's glaring at me, meep -- but it IS a letter, so...  
  
Anyhow... have you received any particularly startling revelations and/or prophecies as of late? Ivan and Sheba would like to know, but Ivan's busy with his studies, and Sheba's in Contigo (Last time I checked), so they asked me to ask you. I should hope no more disturbing prophecies come to pass, I don't want to retrieve my socks from Isaac's weathervane any more... I'm sorry. I'm scaring you again... aren't I? I'm such a bad letter- writer, but everyone insists on it. I think it's because of my mostly-neat handwriting, but Mia writes even better (Like a poet!), but SHE'S never volunteered to do this back-breaking work.  
  
Jenna hates me, or something, by the way.  
  
[A.n. XD]  
  
Let's see... what else is going on as of late? Garet's decided to (try) work at the blacksmith's. Yes, I can just see the horror on your face. Supposedly, it's his 'calling,' as his grandfather says, but I say: "Pfft." Picard's glaring at me. Scary man, he is, sometimes... When he's not eloquent... He just hit me again. Okay, I'll get back on topic, go away. Isaac, besides being one of the few bachelors left in Vale (Heck, even I've found somebody!), has found that teaching others to protect themselves and their loved ones [A.n. The idea came from Rurouni Kenshin! O o] is his duty, and that's what he does. He finds that the fact little Annie can beat Benjamin, who's older by three years, very amusing.  
  
I'm beginning to think Jenna was right in thinking the females would soon take over...  
  
Mia, as you probably know, is staying here, as a healer. Jenna helps occasionally (But I think she makes Mia's patients only worse), but for the most part, she works at the inn, and sometimes on weekends, she heads over to Vault and does odd-jobs. Me, well... I don't know. I still have my share of the money we earned through battles from our trip around the world (I have nothing to buy, after all), so I'll retire early once I get a job... Picard thinks it's pointless, really. And you want to know why he's still here? I'm afraid you'll have to come and see for yourself... [A.n. Secretive Felix. *Sigh*]  
  
Please do visit sometime, Feizhi! You're always welcome here, and we don't bite... Hard, anyhow. Isaac awaits you eagerly!  
  
With much love,  
  
--Felix and the rest of Vale  
  
Feizhi was practically in tears by the time she had finished. The tears were of sheer amusement -- she hadn't laughed this hard in ages! She never knew Felix was so amusing when he wanted to be! After a time, and the laughs became stifled giggles, she pulled out a sheet of rice paper and began writing a letter back.  
  
-|-  
  
"I didn't technically ask you to bite me." Felix said grumpily.  
  
"I'm not going to miss a chance to bite you."  
  
Felix glared at him.  
  
"...I hate you."  
  
"I love you too, little Felix."  
  
"Don't call me that!"  
  
"Would you rather me call you... say... raspberry? You are looking a little tart..."  
  
"Picard!"  
  
"That is my name, it was the last time I checked."  
  
...Picard was so infuriating sometimes...  
  
"I'm going to Grand Gaia you into next year!" Felix shrieked, jumping up from the table and lunging at the Lemurian, who dodged quickly and ran into the kitchen. Felix, forgetting Jenna's warning, followed without hesitation.  
  
"Hey!" Jenna turned around to see Picard and Felix sprint through the kitchen, and almost knock aside Mia, who was opening the oven to peer at the cookies she was going to send to Ivan. "I told you to leave us alone!"  
  
"Come back here, Picard!"  
  
"YOU get back here, mister!"  
  
Felix halted immediately. Picard disappeared up the stairs. Jenna, with a most threatening pan in hand, stomped over to Felix and raised the pan.  
  
"I'm giving you five seconds to tell me why you disobeyed me and ran through the kitchen! 5, 4, 3..."  
  
"But -- but! Picard! He -- "  
  
"2, 1 -- "  
  
"Jenna!"  
  
Fortunately for our beloved Venus Adept [A.n. *Coffcoff*], Mia snatched the pan away from Jenna before she had a chance to whack Felix to kingdom come.  
  
"Jenna, I told you not to beat your brother around with the kitchen utensils!"  
  
"...Um, that doesn't count as a kitchen utensil?" Jenna mumbled sheepishly.  
  
"It's still from the kitchen!" Felix chirped.  
  
"Shut up, you." Mia ordered. Felix 'eep'ed and looked away nervously. "Come on, Jenna. You said you'd deliver those oatmeal-raisin [A.n. Yum!] cookies to Garet, so you go do that. Felix, you go get Picard without blowing the house up."  
  
"But -- Mia! He -- "  
  
"He's an idiot, yes, but we can't change that. Maybe Picard will knock some sense into him..." Grumbling other things under her breath, Mia yanked Jenna by her wrist back to the kitchen.  
  
That left Felix standing alone in the room. With a sigh, he trod up the stairs, a vague thought of where he had put his Levatine flitting through his mind.  
  
-|-  
  
Later that day...  
  
-|-  
  
Felix, now sporting a bandage on his right arm, and Picard, who had a sore jaw, were curled up in Felix's bed after a rather tremendous fight. (Tremendous meaning Jenna yelled at them through the floor.)  
  
"I'm sorry for hitting you, love." Picard murmured, kissing the side of Felix's brow.  
  
"And I'm sorry for hitting you... Though I can't say you didn't deserve it..."  
  
Picard scowled momentarily, and Felix laughed weakly. There was a brief silence as they were left alone to their thoughts.  
  
"...Why DO you think that cow that wanted the red scarf is planning world domination, when your sister is planning world domination as well?"  
  
"They're in league with each other!"  
  
[Picard: ....]  
  
[Felix: - -; It's a theory!]  
  
[Taylor: Theory my rear.]  
  
"...And why would Jenna be in league with a cow when she's allergic to dairy products?"  
  
"She thought that nobody would think she'd be in league with a cow! An EVIL cow!"  
  
"You amaze me sometimes, Felix."  
  
"And that bird! Why couldn't lay its OWN eggs? Why did we have to give that freakish pebble-stone-thing to it? And from a penguin, no less! A penguin COUPLE! And I had to SHOVE the female peguin over! Why couldn't it just SWIM over, you know?"  
  
Picard chuckled as Felix continued his ranting.  
  
"And that dog! Since when did dogs like milk? That's just absurd!"  
  
"It's not unheard of, though."  
  
"Nonetheless! Milk!"  
  
"Mother dogs give their pups milk, if I'm not mistaken, Felix."  
  
This silenced Felix for a moment, but only a moment.  
  
"And Lonely George the turtle! Who has ever HEARD of such a thing as a lonely turtle named George?!"  
  
"You have, Felix, and you're starting to get annoying. I'm going to sleep. Talk to the pillow, for all I care."  
  
"I must have an audience when I talk!"  
  
"That's amazing, considering I've seen you talk to a tree on one occasion..."  
  
"That was -- that was under special circumstances!"  
  
"Right... Well, you don't have an audience, so you can't talk. Ha."  
  
Felix glowered at Picard, who was cuddling his pillow the way he would cuddle Felix on any other *normal* night.  
  
"Jerk," Felix muttered, huddling in his corner of the bed.  
  
"I heard that," Picard said in a sing-song voice.  
  
"Shut up and go to sleep," He snapped, snuffing out the candles.  
  
Silence for about five minutes. Then:  
  
"You want me to cuddle you, don't you?"  
  
"Damn you and your ability to sense things like that." Felix hissed as he crawled over and snuggled into Picard's warm chest.  
  
"It's hard to miss."  
  
"Be quiet."  
  
-|-  
  
They were so eerily perfect looking when they slept next to each other. A sky blue color clashing with an earthy brown -- such opposites that contradicted each other, yet a masterpiece when they came together. She found it odd that their hands, laid out to the side beside them, were clasped together, when -- ironically enough -- yesterday, they had tried chopping them off. The older one, the one that was built more sturdily and lived his life out on the sea, was surprisingly serene and articulate, while his younger counterpart resembled a willow branch, had a sharp tongue and jumped to conclusions.  
  
And it was ironic.  
  
And what was even more ironic, was that this picture of peace and beauty would be shattered as soon as Kyle's rooster began making a racket.  
  
Jenna grimaced and left the room, and once she was on the third-to-the-top- step of the stairs, she heard a dull thud and her brother cursing.  
  
...He always had to fall off the bed on Tuesdays.  
  
-|-  
  
End  
  
-|-  
  
More on the cow, penguins, bird, dog and turtles later. (Lordie. O_o) I'm surprised I squeezed this out tonight... It's 10, I gotta take a shower and then read for half an hour. - -;; Meh feels dead. That's what comes from playing SSB:M so thoroughly for the past three or four days that you have all the unlockable characters except Mewtwo and Mr. Game and Watch. e_e I haven't unlocked a single new stage, though. GO ME! XD  
  
Reviews, as always, make me feel better and are often the highlight of my day.  
  
So keep me happy and press that button DOWN THERE. NOW!!! 


	4. Red Scarves

Red Scarves  
  
-- Curse homework to hell! e_e --  
  
I hate homework, and piano homework. I never finish it. Why? I have homework, writing, and. . . . *communicating with friends* (^_^;;) is also extremely important! Yeah. Those are my excuses. I #$+@#\& hate piano. I want to play flute... e_e My mom says all musicians play piano at one time or another... I'm thinking: Okay, I've played piano. Can I quit and start the flute now? Or the harp, or the -- hell, anything BESIDES the piano and cello and violin. Violins are evil (Everytime I played, it sounded like a cat howling in pain), and cellos are completely unladylike. Fuu. Enough of my ranting, start the freakin' chapter.  
  
Oh, any if anybody here has gone to Jupiter Lighthouse (The sprites for GS2), could anyone tell me who that blonde girl (Not Sheba, hair's longer) under the 'Unindentified' category? I forgot... But how do you NOT know who King Hydros and Puelle are? O o What kind of people RUN that site? That girl... she looks so familiar, though. ;-;  
  
GS Yaoi Fanlisting -- it is now official. Once the site is up, that'll be there. Or, like a week after the launch. ^_^ I now need to bribe somebody into drawing something! If somebody's willing to draw/create banners and whatnot (Without the bribery ^_~), I'll luff you for eternity. It's amazing, Taylor actually agreed. I mean, she says that it's also my site, I can do what I what, but still... O o; I thought it wouldn't be that easy!  
  
PicardxFelix FOREVER!!  
  
-|-  
  
Red Scarves --  
  
-- Feizhi's arrival  
  
-|-  
  
"Leave the cow alone!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Leave the cow alone! If I told you once, I told you twice, and if I've told you twice, this is the umpteenth time! Felix, just be quiet about the cow!"  
  
"Never!"  
  
Picard glared at Felix, who was tying a red scarf around one of the villager's cows.  
  
"Just leave the poor thing alone! It never did anything to try to take over the world!"  
  
Felix turned around and poked him in the chest.  
  
"I'm just recording data, Picard! What will happen if this cow comes into contact with a red scarf?"  
  
"Are you sure you want to find out?"  
  
Felix blinked and looked down at the bovine, which was slowly chewing on some cud. Looking at the vibrantly red scarf, then at the cow again, he snatched the accessory off hastily.  
  
"Scary thoughts..."  
  
Picard sighed and dragged the shivering young man back to Jenna's house. They drew a few stares -- mainly because Felix was pale as a ghost, shuddering, and clutching a red scarf which many were sure was Jenna's. They could've cared less about the romance the two shared -- they saved the world, let 'em be, in their opinion.  
  
"You're an idiot sometimes, Felix," Picard told him, pulling him up astride to himself. Felix was still having a seizure.  
  
"What if the cow went on a rampage? Killed everyone? I'd be the one at fault!"  
  
"But you'd probably be dead, along with everyone else, so no one would care."  
  
Felix muttered something under his breath and latched himself onto Picard's arm. The Lemurian sighed.  
  
-|-  
  
"Mia, have you seen my scarf?"  
  
"No, but you never wear it. Why do you bother now?"  
  
"I always see it hanging next to my jackets when I open the closet, and it's not there today... You sure you haven't seen it?"  
  
"No, I haven't -- oh! Felix and Picard are back... Wait a second, Felix is holding... a red scarf!"  
  
Jenna stumbled down the stairs, staring at Mia in disbelief, who was peering out the kitchen windows on tiptoe.  
  
"That idiot!" Jenna roared, running to the door and throwing it open. "Felix! I'll kill you!"  
  
There was about fifteen seconds in which Picard blinked, took the scarf from Felix, gave it to Jenna, then told the Venus Adept to run for his life.  
  
Felix listened, for once.  
  
"I didn't do anything wrong!" Felix wailed as Jenna chased him past Garet and Isaac's respective houses.  
  
"You took some of MY clothing withOUT asking! That's a sin, and I'm making you PAY for it!"  
  
"I didn't do -- "  
  
"You probably tormented the poor cows, too!"  
  
"I still didn't do anything wrong!"  
  
Picard sighed and went inside. He pecked Mia on the cheek as he passed her, then went upstairs to retrieve some of his healing items, as Felix would likely come back with a few appendages missing and some bruises.  
  
He really did wonder what it would've been like to have Jenna as a sister in law...  
  
-|-  
  
Later that day, Felix had a bandage wrapped around his head, a splint on one arm, and a bad limp. He also received a lecture about the differences of borrowing, stealing, and torturing harmless bovines from Jenna, and a most painful rap to the head from Mia. Mia, what with her gentle demeanor, seemed not to be the type of person to injure others, but... she believed that animals had rights just as people have, and thusly, a cow has the right to decline the offer of having a red scarf placed around its neck.  
  
Felix found what Picard did to him was the most painful:  
  
Kiss him on the forehead and call him an idiot.  
  
Picard always called Felix an idiot in his soft, 'I-still-love-you-anyway- and-probably-in-spite-of-that' way, and Felix found that tone most irritating.  
  
And now, Picard had his hands full with calming a most unhappy Felix, as the girls had deserted him to hustle the welcoming committee of Feizhi together.  
  
"Felix, love..."  
  
"Don't you start on that AGAIN! Don't you understand, Picard?! These animals -- they might be planning something! And here I am, the only person wise enough to grasp that!"  
  
/Wise enough? Don't you mean... daft enough?/  
  
"It's always possible some dreaded evil has imbued them with dark powers, and... and... giving a cow a red scarf might touch it off! But what I hate most is that none of you agree with me! NONE of you!"  
  
Felix had been pacing, despite his bruised and sore hip, in front of Picard, who was leaning on the windowsill. Picard sighed and reached out to draw the Venus adept to him. Felix was weak, but he was still feisty enough to try and bite the Lemurian, and he did manage to leave a rather painful looking chomp on Picard's arm that bled a bit. But there was a reason why Mercury adepts were calming spirits.  
  
"Felix. . . Remember what I said about a month ago, about this relationship?"  
  
"That it would be imbalanced," Felix responded gruffly.  
  
"Correct. Sheba thinks of us as polar opposites, and she probably is right, being the genius she is." Picard squeezed him gently, and pulled him onto his lap. "But opposites tend to attract..."  
  
"Like Jenna and Mia."  
  
"Right again. Although I may not always agree with your ideas of animals and your lactose-intolerant sister eventually ruling the world, I will defend your rights as a human being." Picard sighed before continuing, "And though nobody else may support you in these ideas of yours, I still love you, and my opinion, that should be enough to keep you happy."  
  
Felix was quiet for a moment, fidgeting slightly now and then, and touching the bleeding bite mark. Silently, he cast Cure on it, touching the restored skin gently with cautious fingers.  
  
"Sorry..." He mumbled, resting his forehead against Picard's chin. "It's just..."  
  
"I know," Picard said, smoothing out Felix's unruly hair. "When you had to take the Elemental Stars, and nobody supported you then, either."  
  
Felix stayed still, resting against the Lemurian he had traveled the world with, fought alongside in nearly impossible battles, and battled tooth and nail with as of who slept on the floor every other night when the inn was full. He fingered the necklace Picard wore, with the eight-pointed star. It was supposed to be a compass -- for life, he remembered Picard telling him.  
  
"Love you." Felix murmured in an uncharacteristically shy way.  
  
"Love you, too." Picard tilted his chin up and kissed him gently.  
  
Imperfect though they were, they were flawless and without compare while together.  
  
-|-  
  
Jenna was heading upstairs to call Felix and Picard out while Mia, Isaac, and the others greeted Feizhi as she arrived. She hadn't realized what was happening behind Felix's door, and thus, opened the door with her usual grand-entrance-flair. But as soon as she saw the boys making out against the window, she knew she had interrupted something. She closed the door quickly, silently, hoping to the dear gods that they hadn't heard her.  
  
"Jenna! Feizhi's here!" Mia called from the base of the stairs.  
  
"Mia!" She raced down the steps, and in her haste, forgot the wobbly step, and flew down ten steps and knocked down the healer from Imil.  
  
"Oww..." Mia groaned, muffled by Jenna's large amount of hair being forced into her throat.  
  
"Mia! I'm so sorry! I'm such an idiot! Please, please, please don't be mad at me!"  
  
"I... I think I... I broke something..."  
  
[Jenna: o_o!]  
  
"No, wait..." Mia sat up, rubbing her back. "I think you knocked that annoying knot of tension in my back out!"  
  
"...Really?" Jenna let out her breath. An angry Mia -- an angry MERCURY adept Mia -- was not a good thing for a Mars adept Jenna's health, right?  
  
"Thank you, Jenna. Now," Jenna jumped to her feet and helped her companion up, "what about Picard and Felix?"  
  
"They're making out," Jenna said dismissively, waving her hand. "Once they see Feizhi walking around in the street below, they'll come down."  
  
[Mia: ...]  
  
"And... when... might that be?"  
  
"Hopefully before dinner."  
  
"Well...." Mia looked vaguely nervous for a moment. "Anyway, let's just go meet up with Feizhi."  
  
"Let's." Jenna took her hand and they ran out to meet the lady from Xian.  
  
-|-  
  
It was only half an hour later that Felix realized his sister wasn't coming upstairs to bother them. He pulled away from Picard, peering out the window.  
  
"Iris!" Felix swore, leaping up from the little shelf and immediately regretting it, as that put pressure on his bad leg. "Feizhi's here, and Jenna didn't come and tell us!"  
  
"Aren't you glad she didn't bother us?"  
  
Felix glared at him, hobbling over to the door while trying to put his hair into some semblance of order. Picard followed, watching him try to get down the stairs.  
  
After Felix had gotten down six steps, nearly fallen twice, and cursed more times than Iris could punish him for, he finally turned around and gave Picard his most pitiful face.  
  
"...Could you help me?"  
  
"Oh, the great and mighty Felix asking for help down the stairs?"  
  
Felix glowered at him. Picard laughed, moving downwards toward him, then scooping him up in his arms. The Venus adept yelped as Picard leaped the last five steps.  
  
"Put me down!" He was screaming as Picard continued on outside. "I'm not a -- "  
  
"Not a child?" Picard blinked innocently. "Why, in comparison to me, you're only an infant."  
  
"How old are you, then?!"  
  
"I'm sure 'older than Kraden' will suffice," The Lemurian smiled, pressing a quick kiss to Felix's forehead.  
  
"I'm in love with a guy that's old enough to be my great-grandfather. That's... disturbing."  
  
"Our relationship was never meant to be stable..." Picard said cheerfully, humming to himself. "Do you know where they would be?"  
  
"Probably at the inn..." Felix mumbled, not wanting the Mercury adept to know that he somehow enjoyed this pampering-of-sorts. "You... can put me down now..."  
  
"I don't think so." He chuckled. Felix blushed a hot crimson, and looked off in the distance.  
  
-|-  
  
Jenna was pacing worriedly around the inn's main room. Feizhi and Ivan, who had managed to sneak up to Vale from Kalay, were talking animatedly about any prophecies she had had as of late. Garet, as to be expected, was dozing. Isaac was poking at his hair. (*Snerk* I wanna poke his hair, too! XD)  
  
"Jenna, sit down..." Mia begged. "They'll come... eventually..."  
  
"Eventually!" Jenna huffed. "They need to come *now*! They've already embarassed everyone else..."  
  
"Feizhi's not mad," Mia said, glancing back at the purple-haired lady from Xian. Nope, no signs of madness. "At all. Jenna, just sit down and wait a little while longer -- "  
  
Jenna seemed to see something out the window and raced out the door. Mia blinked, then with another glance back at her friends, she followed.  
  
"Felix! WHERE WERE YOU?!"  
  
Mia sighed.  
  
"Where do you think?"  
  
"Don't be smart with me!" Jenna was screaming. Felix squeaked.  
  
"Back at the house..."  
  
"Snogging with your little Lemurian friend?!"  
  
A brief pause.  
  
"Leave me out of this, please, Felix." Picard requested of the quivering Venus adept.  
  
"Picard!" Felix yelped, clinging onto the Lemurian's neck. "She'll kill me this time!"  
  
"Yeah, I'll kill you!" Jenna roared. Mia leaped to restrain her.  
  
"Now, now, Jenna..." Mia said in her neutral, 'be-mature-about-this' voice. "Killing your brother would do no good for us..."  
  
"If I killed him and Picard?"  
  
"Jenna." Mia said evenly.  
  
"...You're such a party-pooper, Mia."  
  
"I don't like unnecessary bloodshed." The healer sighed, grabbing Jenna by her arm and dragging her back to the inn. "Are you two coming or not?"  
  
"Yes ma'am!"  
  
In a pen nearby, a chicken sat atop a cow, and clucked noisily. The cow mooed.  
  
And all was peaceful.  
  
-|-  
  
End  
  
-|-  
  
......OR SO WE THOUGHT!  
  
XD  
  
Uber-thanxx to you people that reviewed. ::Hugz all:: I'm sorry it's on the short-side today... I wrote out the end kinda quickly. ^_^;; Gomen nasai, ne.  
  
InuYasha? Hummm... What would I write about? ~_~;; I'm not a really big fan of yaois over there... Although Inu/Miroku is kinda cute. I like my Sessho/Kago fics fine. ^o^  
  
'Til next time... 


	5. Milk and Frills

Milk and Frills  
  
-- Muuf. --  
  
I'm... tired.  
  
No, fredd, it's not the end. o O; There won't BE an end unless I SAY there is an end. XD  
  
::Huggles Vyctori:: Me luffs you. ^_^ Thanxx uberz for the pic! *o*  
  
Akiko-san: If I got on my hands and knees and begged and grovelled at your feet for ten hours, would you do it? O_O ::Worships almighty Akiko-sama:: ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY AKIKO!  
  
-|-  
  
Milk and Frills --  
  
-- The acursed things (In Felix's opinion)  
  
-|-  
  
Felix glared balefully at a glass of milk situated before him on the table, then scowled at his sister, who was making faces at him behind Mia's back.  
  
"Why did you make me come?" Felix growled to Picard.  
  
"Don't be mad, Felix. It'd be rude if we didn't come, anyhow."  
  
"But why'd you make ME come?"  
  
"Felix..."  
  
"I hate milk." Felix grumbled. Picard chuckled.  
  
"It's not so bad, love. It's just milk."  
  
"It comes from a bovine planning to take over the universe." He hissed back, biting into an oatmeal cookie hesitantly.  
  
"You really do have too much time on your hands..." Picard sighed.  
  
"Care to share what you two are talking about?" Mia asked, overhearing their whispers.  
  
"Uh, no -- " Felix started.  
  
"He still thinks cattle are going to take over Weyard."  
  
"Picard!"  
  
"It's a virtue to be truthful!" Picard yelped before Felix could rain a Ragnarok on his head. "Um... right... Ms. Feizhi?"  
  
"Men who are honest are well-respected in Xian," Feizhi said primly, taking a sip of tea.  
  
"See?"  
  
"Shut up." The Venus adept took a pillow and whacked him over the head with it, then sat down in a huff.  
  
"You act so immature for your age, Felix." Jenna teased, her chocolate- colored eyes twinkling in merriment.  
  
"So says the girl that's making *faces* at me." Felix shot back, and Mia whirled around to face the Mars adept. Jenna looked at her innocently. "Mia, you don't keep an eye on her."  
  
"Don't blame Mia!" Jenna shouted.  
  
"Yeah, it's not her fault you've come out so bad!"  
  
"Felix!" Picard yanked Felix back down on his seat. "Maiming your sister in public would do plenty for your reputation!"  
  
Ivan snickered, and Isaac cuffed him over the head.  
  
"...I hate cows." Felix grumbled hotly.  
  
"We know you do." Picard answered.  
  
"Including that one, over there." He pointed at his sister. Picard raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Felix......"  
  
"They're all *evil*."  
  
-|-  
  
[A/N: Poor Felix and his paranoia of cows. ^_^; Maybe that's why he's afraid of Ashley, the Apocalypse child... She adores bovines. ;;]  
  
[Felix: You're MEAN! *Pout*]  
  
[Taylor: Awww... ^_~]  
  
Felix was grumpy.  
  
...That was the understatement of the year, Picard mused.  
  
"You're alive, Felix. Be thankful for small mercies."  
  
"*Small*? I'm lucky I'm not a pile of charred ashes."  
  
"There, you've got it!"  
  
Felix glared at him, then crossed his arms over his chest in the 'I'm-moody- and-unhappy,-have-a-problem-with-it?' kind of fashion.  
  
Picard frowned at him. "Are you still mad that your little sister beat you up?"  
  
"Be quiet."  
  
"What was that? ...So you *are* still moping!"  
  
"Picard, I'll eat you for breakfast." he threatened.  
  
"That sounds nice." He replied cheerily.  
  
Felix kicked him under the table. "You're a pervert."  
  
"You don't like me being a pervert?"  
  
The Venus adept turned a variety of colors -- red, purple, blue, then back to red.  
  
"You're turning into a berry." Picard said, poking his nose. "Either that, or you're trying to be a rainbow."  
  
"S... shut up." Felix mumbled, a bright cherry red.  
  
Picard got up and moved over to Felix's side of the table, taking the smaller adept's hands into his own.  
  
"My pet is all shy now," Picard whispered into his ear, using the name Felix found most abhorrent. "I think I know a way to get him to come out of his shell..."  
  
He kissed Felix teasingly, darting like a sparrow from one place to another -- his lips, his cheeks, his eyelids, his neck. Felix whimpered softly, his hands sliding from Picard's and hooking into the Lemurian's hair. And when Picard found his lips once more, several things happened all at once.  
  
Something clanged into a pot on the countertop -- loudly. The force of this impact knocked the pan onto the floor, making another loud clatter. All this noise shocked Picard, who then -- accidentally, mind you, but one must always be suspicious of a Lemurian's motives -- clamped down on Felix's bottom lip with his teeth. (Most painful. Poor Fewix.) Felix, then, yelped, flailed, knocked Picard over, which sent him tumbling as well. This landed them in a rather compromising position, and when Jenna, Mia and Feizhi came running in, Felix got the rather dreary feeling he was going to roast over a spit soon, speared on a metal rod.  
  
"...Um?" was the first word to break the silence.  
  
"...Er..." Felix started. "...It's not what it looks like?"  
  
"What are they doing?" Feizhi asked, her large purple eyes blinking rapidly.  
  
"You sure you wanna know?" Jenna stared at her in amazement.  
  
"Jenna!" Felix scrambled up, tripped over his own feet, and landed on Picard's stomach. The Lemurian wheezed. "I'msorryI'msorryI'msorry!"  
  
Picard could only do so much as sigh.  
  
"Okay, so, first... What were you two doing, or would it be better for my ears if I didn't know?" Mia looked between Felix, who was once again bright as a ripe cherry, and Picard, who looked... well... dead.  
  
"I, um, we, uh, so..."  
  
"We're going to get no where if you ask Felix, Mia, that's common sense." Jenna reached down and helped Picard up. "Ask him, he's the more knowledgeable one."  
  
"Heeey!" Felix whined.  
  
The first words out of Picard's lips were, "Does she know?"  
  
"Know what?" Feizhi blinked some more.  
  
"...No..." Jenna said sheepishly.  
  
"Jenna..."  
  
"I'm sorry, but there's never a 'right' time!" Jenna said exasperatedly, shaking her hands up and down. "And you never know what her reaction will be -- "  
  
"About what?" Feizhi yanked on Jenna's ponytail unhappily. "What's going on? Even I do not know what's going on in your minds..."  
  
"It's better that way," Felix muttered. Picard kicked his ankle.  
  
"Uh, well... About that..." Mia started slowly.  
  
"Here." Picard yanked Felix -- who was still nursing the bruise welling up on his recently kicked ankle -- into a long kiss. After he pulled away, he brushed some hair out of Felix face and pressed another kiss to the Venus adept's forehead. He turned to Feizhi. "See?"  
  
A thud.  
  
Jenna, Mia and Feizhi peered around Picard to stare at Felix, who had fallen to the ground in a dead faint.  
  
"Was that supposed to happen?" Mia asked of Picard, who shrugged.  
  
"...Did I miss something?" Feizhi said blankly to the air.  
  
-|-  
  
Was it possible he fainted from lack of oxygen? Picard was musing later that day as he held his blanketed bundle-o-Felix on his lap. (*Snark* That's such an amusing phrase! 'Bundle-o-Felix! XD)  
  
"I'm not cold." Felix told him again.  
  
"You're shivering."  
  
"So?"  
  
"Jenna will maim me if she found out you caught hypothermia because I, a Water adept, and a healer, did nothing to stop it." Picard said evenly, tucking Felix's brown head under his chin. "And, you look so adorable when you're like this."  
  
"Because I'm *vulnerable.*" Felix grumbled, trying to wiggle his way out of his cocoon but failing miserably. "And you like that. Is that your hand on my posterior?"  
  
"Oh? Whoever said it was?"  
  
"...Jerk."  
  
"Feeeelix!" Jenna's cheerful voice rang throughout the house as she and Mia trundled in from their expedition outside. "We found Shine!"  
  
"Am I supposed to be thankful?"  
  
"What happened to you?" Jenna poked at Felix's nose with her index finger. "You look like a human cocoon."  
  
"SEE?" Felix snarled to Picard, who ignored him and continued to cuddle with his precious bundle.  
  
"I don't want him to catch cold." Picard said to Jenna, ignoring Felix's grumblings and cursings as he wriggled about in his jail. Jenna giggled, showing them her outstretched palm with the small Djinni sitting in it.  
  
"I told you not to leave the cabinet open," Mia sighed, puffing the pillows. "Because Shine could get into the sugar."  
  
"It was fun!" Shine squeaked, running up the length of Jenna's arm and leaping up to her head. "Isaac looked funny in a tow -- "  
  
"Okay, you've had enough sight-seeing for today... I have to go apologize to Isaac..."  
  
"Sight-seeing?" Picard asked.  
  
"I pity Isaac." Felix rolled his eyes.  
  
"At least it wasn't you." Jenna replied, setting Shine to herself and walking back into the kitchen for a cup of hot cocoa.  
  
"You forget, our Djinn have seen everything and know everything." Mia sat down on a nearby chair, taking a brush and running it through her long hair.  
  
"Don't remind me." Felix scowled, turning a beet red.  
  
"We all saw more than we wanted to that day..." Picard chuckled and squeezed him.  
  
"Pfft. You probably enjoyed it."  
  
"Who says I *didn't*?"  
  
"See, you ARE a pervert."  
  
"You would be a pervert, too, if you had such an astoundingly cute thing for a lover."  
  
Felix whimpered into his blanket/cocoon as Picard and Mia laughed.  
  
-|-  
  
Feizhi was most perturbed. Picard loved Felix. Felix loved Picard. And all, as Garet said, was fine and dandy. She narrowed her purple eyes. But something was still wrong. ...She wasn't angry, or sad, or shocked! Yes, that was it! She rose from her seat and walked over to the window, where a fresh breeze was blowing in and making the curtains flare up. In Xian, such a thing would be considered dishonorable, and would get one dismissed from his family immediately.  
  
And she, being of a well-respected family of Xian, could not go awry on the path of life. She stared, confused and bewildered, up at some clouds in the baby blue sky. But whoever said she was going *awry* to begin with? There was no harm in love, whether it be for a woman or for a man, right?  
  
There was a knock at the inn door, and she went to open it. Isaac, looking a bit dizzy, was trying to flatten down his ever unruly hair (Feizhi thought that all the men of Vale seemed to have this problem).  
  
"Isaac! What are you doing here?"  
  
"Er, well...." He teetered. Feizhi moved to help him, but he gripped the doorpost instead of her arm. "Kraden... wants to talk to you..."  
  
"But why do you look so inebriated?"  
  
He wobbled, and this time, Feizhi had to take his arm and lead him inside. She dragged him to a chair and forced him to sit down. With her hands on her hips, she awaited an answer.  
  
"Have you ever heard Kraden *talk* before, Feizhi?" He shook his head to clear up some of the Kraden-fogginess.  
  
She pondered his question a moment before answering, "Why, yes I have!"  
  
"Did he talk to you for at least half an hour?"  
  
She twitched inwardly. Wasn't that the time the old man teased her about -- ?  
  
"No, at the most, it was probably five minutes." Feizhi said in an even tone that, thankfully, did not belie her nervousness.  
  
"R-really?" Isaac looked a bit as though a stunning revelation had come to him. Feizhi blinked at him worriedly. "Well... He wants to *talk* to you now..."  
  
She was confused once more. "Is there something bad about this *talk* of his?"  
  
"He goes on... and on... and on... until Weyard pretty much withers away from hearing so much." Isaac squeezed his eyes shut, and Feizhi felt a pang of sadness for him, then a much stronger thrum of anger towards the old man.  
  
"And he *talked* with you, Isaac?" She took his hand and stroked it, gently, then smoothed out his hair. "Are you alright?"  
  
"I'm fine," he replied, somehow feeling better with the slightest of her touches. He swallowed. "But you better go..."  
  
"Oh, I should! It is never polite to keep the elderly waiting!" She jerked away, as though she were burned. Isaac blinked.  
  
"...That is, unless you want to ignore his request and go out near the waterfall." His eyes twinkled with a new light -- mischieviousness.  
  
Feizhi stopped in her tracks. If what Isaac had said about this elderly man was true -- then was she actually risking her life in going? But it wasn't polite to ignore requests, especially those of well-respected seniors...  
  
...That was in Xian, though.  
  
"Let us go to the waterfall, then."  
  
"I didn't know it was in you, Feizhi! I'm most -- pleasantly -- surprised."  
  
The Xian lady blushed and took his outstretched hand. Father would have such a fit when he heard... if he ever heard.  
  
As Ivan had said: What he doesn't know won't kill him.  
  
-|-  
  
Felix, as to be expected, was hating his cocoon more and more as the day wore on.  
  
"What are you doing?" He yelped as Jenna *snugged* him around the waist and he felt his hair being lifted out of the cloth. "Jenna!"  
  
"You're so waaarrmmm...." She purred. Felix twitched.  
  
"Get away from me, you vile being!"  
  
"Felix, you hurt my feelings. Would you consider me vile?" Picard asked softly, from his other side. The Lemurian pressed a wet kiss to his jawbone. Felix meeped.  
  
"What are you -- "  
  
"Jenna, would pink or yellow look better?" Mia called from the top of the stairs. In her hands were lengths of ribbons of various colors.  
  
"I'M NOT CROSSDRESSING!" Felix yelled, pulling away from Jenna and Picard and landing in a heap (Once more ^_~) on the floor.  
  
"Aww, Mia, you ruined it!" Jenna whined, stepping over her brother, who was shrieking like a banshee.  
  
"I'm sorry, Jenna." Mia ran down the stairs, moving the ribbons to one hand so she could hug the Mars adept and press a kiss to her cheek. "But maybe we could still...?"  
  
"NO!" Felix wailed. "The last time was more than enough!"  
  
"Just for the look on Feizhi's face?" Jenna frowned. "Well..."  
  
"The Semi-Annual Vale Beauty Contest is this weekend." Picard said, picking up Felix and stuffing a pillow over the deploring Venus adept. "We could see what happens when they crown him the winner..."  
  
"But wouldn't they *know*?" Jenna's large brown eyes were shining in a devious way, despite her words. "Isaac and Garet and Ivan -- they'll know it's him!"  
  
"Jenna! I'll kill you!" The pillow screamed.  
  
"But Feizhi won't need to know! And if we make him pretty enough, everybody else won't know!"  
  
"And, they're allowing entrants from Vault and Lunpa and Kalay this time! We can say he's from elsewhere!"  
  
Jenna paused, contemplating these things. Then, without warning, she burst out laughing like a maniac, running upstairs. Mia, worried, as was usual, followed.  
  
"This will be fun, trust me." Picard told the shuddering pillow.  
  
"Fun my ass." It muttered. "The last time Jenna had me in frills..."  
  
"That was for Halloween in Madra."  
  
"I can't believe Sheba and Jenna made me go as a *girl* for that acursed party!"  
  
"You made a noble lady, or so they told me. ...If I'm not mistaken, weren't you *supposed* to be a noble lady?"  
  
"Shut up..." The pillow said weakly. "Why can't I just nap in peace?"  
  
"You said so yourself that when one has conniving siblings, peace is an unknown word."  
  
The pillow seemed to cry.  
  
-|-  
  
End  
  
-|-  
  
Oog, that was icky. e_e; But hey, I thought: A crossdressing!Felix and an evil!Jenna would make things interesting, no? Mwahahahaha. And because Picard crossdressing is overdone in Japanese GS fanart. XD Go look at Vyctori's art collection sometime, if you haven't done so already.  
  
Akiko-san, pleeeez draw the picture! There's only ONE other Picard x Felix picture in existence (That I know of...), and it's not even that well implied! ...Actually, I had this extremely well-drawn picture of just Felix and Picard's heads... It was on a Japanese oekaki board. Picard's eyes = Freaky. But it was the LAST picture on the LAST page, so when another picture (One of Sheba, and it was TACKILY drawn...) was posted, it went: BAI BAI! ::Sob:: It's the same one I told you about, Taylor. There wasn't anything bad about it, but it appeared as though Picard had said something to make Felix BLUSSSHHH....  
  
Ah well. Bloody oekaki boards.  
  
Updates will continue sporadically... I need to work on The Elements now. I haven't even STARTED Agatio's chapter. ;-; ::Runs from Vyctori:: PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME, O GODDESS! 


	6. Boom Went the Felix

Boom Went the Felix  
  
-- ...Eep. --  
  
I'm sorry for the omega long wait.... ;-; I decided to help write a screenplay with a friend (Who has THE HIGHEST HOPES EVER), and it's rather difficult to make sense of his writing... And that takes nearly all of my time, since he's pressuring me to work, work, work. And he's supposed to be the laidback one of the two of us... e_e Funny how it works.  
  
Domo arigato to all of my reviewers... Vyctori, keep your wits about you, there are actually going to be -two- stories dedicated to you... One's a multi-chaptered Picard x Felix, the second is an angsty, semi-introspective Saturos / Menardi one-shot. I LURVE YOU THAT MUCH! ^o^  
  
fredde184 -- I should make a shrine to my own devotee... Huh.... ^_~ Lurve you lots, too.  
  
AND EVERYONE ELSE! -- THANK YOU SO MUCH! O_o But I should really stop listening to some of you... Because all of my one-shots will become one of these... ::Sigh:: Whatever. Still love you all.  
  
-|-  
  
Boom Went the Felix --  
  
-- The good, the bad, and the downright ugly  
  
-|-  
  
Pounding. It wouldn't stop. WHY DID IT NOT STOP?  
  
"Go away! I'm being miserable!"  
  
"You're not doing a good job of it."  
  
"GO AWAY!"  
  
Some shifting noises. The door opened. Felix groaned into his bed, curling tighter into a ball as Picard sat down on the edge of his mattress.  
  
"See, I'm miserable." Felix grumbled, his voice muffled from several layers of thick blankets. And a few pillows.  
  
"So my attempt to make you happy didn't work?"  
  
"...You are not throwing me into the lake. Again."  
  
"You *are* miserable." Picard blinked, peeling away some layers. He unearthed Felix's face, which nipped at his fingers. "And bloodthirsty."  
  
"You'd be bloodthirsty, too," Felix muttered, wriggling his blankets back into place as he spoke, "If your sister and her girlfriend and your own boyfriend were trying to make you *crossdress*."  
  
"It's fun." The Lemurian paused, considering his next batch of words. "Would this count as foreplay?"  
  
"PICARD!" Felix roared. "Don't you DARE go there!"  
  
"I was kidding..." Picard mumbled sheepishly.  
  
"You don't have interest in women, anyhow..." Felix rolled over, onto his side, and faced the wall.  
  
"Men in skirts?" He suggested.  
  
"Please."  
  
Picard laughed. Felix moped.  
  
"Did Jenna and Mia send you up here to torment me?" Felix asked, after some moments of silence.  
  
"They said I'd only get in the way, so they sent me out. I just came here to check up on you." Picard draped himself over Felix's slender (Though made large by way of the blankets) form, nuzzling his face against Felix's. "And maybe get some kisses?"  
  
"You vile, evil, notorious man." Felix hissed.  
  
Picard chuckled again, pressing a kiss to the side of Felix's mouth.  
  
"You're cute when you're mad."  
  
Felix turned his face away to prevent further kisses. Picard purred, clawing his way under the numerous blankets. Felix jerked away from a poke to his side. "You unholy -- "  
  
"Felix, love, it's spring." Picard sighed. "You'll roast yourself alive under these blankets."  
  
"That's the point." He replied evenly. The Lemurian got up and stood beside the bed, staring down at his cocoon-form again.  
  
"Did you purposely make yourself look like a human chrysallis, by any chance?"  
  
"No. It just came out that way." Felix said dryly.  
  
"I thought so!" Picard said brightly, picking up the Bundle-o-Felix / Felix- Cocoon [Hnee! XD]. Felix, as to be expected, protested loudly.  
  
"What the blasphemous hell do you think you're doing, you idiotic Lemurian?!"  
  
-|-  
  
Downstairs, Jenna and Mia stopped over their needlework to look up and glance at each other.  
  
"Was that Felix?" Mia asked Jenna.  
  
Jenna squinted at a wall, then looked down at her needlework, to notice a knot she had somehow created while stitching. She sighed, picking at it. She had never been good at needlework, like Mia... "Maybe it was... Picard certainly doesn't yell like that often."  
  
"The only time was when..." Mia trailed off, tapping the needle against her thumb as she thought.  
  
"Was when Shine got into the bathroom while he was taking a bath." said Jenna. Her tone was easy, conversational, as she poked and yanked and picked at the knot. She frowned down at it. "With Felix, if I'm not mistaken..."  
  
"Jenna..." Mia sighed.  
  
"You wouldn't dare, you corrupted, malevolent person!"  
  
[A/N: Snerk. The IRONY in that sentence is SO funny to me.... Cookie to you who get it... XP]  
  
A thud. Mia jumped. Another thud. A loud, "Damn!" Thud. Thud. Thud. Wham. Thud. Thud. Wham. Thud.  
  
"What's going on?" Mia raced over to the staircase.  
  
A most dizzy, disgruntled Felix lay at her feet, grumbling obscene things under his breath. Picard came down after him, rolling up several blankets as he descended the stairs.  
  
"...What happened?"  
  
"Easy... Felix was moping, Picard got him, then rolled him down the stairs in his blankets." Jenna plucked one blanket from Picard, staring down at it in disbelief. "...Felix, isn't this your baby blanket?" She snickered as Mia and Picard peered down at it. "Look, it's Mr. Shnuzzle!"  
  
"Shnuzzle..." Felix groaned. "...Put... Shnuzzy... down..."  
  
"Oh dear..." Mia sighed.  
  
"'Shnuzzle'?" Picard asked, disturbed. "Is this a childhood thing?"  
  
"Yeah, it is, and it's a long story..." Jenna sighed as she stared down at her unconscious elder brother. "Picard, pick him up and heal him. He doesn't need broken bones a few days before the contest." She cackled, heading back to the table to finish her stitching.  
  
"I'm beginning to wish I didn't throw Felix down the stairs." Picard said to Mia.  
  
The Imilian healer touched a bump on the Venus adept's head. "So am I. When he wakes up, and after he's had something for that headache, he's going to scream bloody murder and come after you."  
  
Picard visibly paled.  
  
-|-  
  
A time later, Felix sat at the table, an ice pack on his head. Picard was *out,* as the girls had told him, and that, of course, did not bode well at all with the Venus adept. He glanced furtively around, noticing that Mia had put fresh daisies in the vase on the counter. Why this occured to him, he didn't know.  
  
"Felix, is pink or yellow bet -- "  
  
"Yellow." He cut in curtly, staring out the window, waiting for a blue head to appear. "No rosettes."  
  
"Aww, but.." Jenna whined, disappointed.  
  
"No matter, we'll just make his hair look extra pretty." Mia said, patting the Mars adept's hand. Jenna looked at her, then nodded, determined.  
  
"Women," Felix hissed under his breath.  
  
Jenna kicked his shin underneath the table. "Shut up."  
  
"You're evil." Felix told Jenna, who glared at him and raised her needle threateningly.  
  
Mia, thankfully, intervened, before Felix became a man-made cactus. "Jenna, finish your stitching. We only have so much time."  
  
Felix scooted away from his evil (frothing) sister before she could disobey the Imilian healer's wishes and made him her personal pincushion.  
  
/Meep./  
  
"Jenna, Mia!"  
  
While Felix had a staring match with the floor, Picard swept into the room and deposited a bundle of flowers on Mia and Jenna's laps. He then moved around the table to stick a daisy behind Felix's ear and kiss his forehead.  
  
"These are beautiful, Picard! Where did you get them?" Mia cooed, bringing a bright pink rose to her nose and sniffing at it delicately.  
  
"The lady down at the inn gave them to me for no particular reason... She was mumbling something about Isaac and a foreign lady..."  
  
Jenna and Mia exchanged glances.  
  
"Isaac?" Jenna asked.  
  
"...Feizhi?" Mia blinked.  
  
"Come to think of it, I didn't see either of them at the south plaza, where they normally hang around..."  
  
"This isn't good." Jenna said worriedly, plucking at a flower.  
  
Mia sighed. "But we have no time to worry about them... They're both very capable adepts. We should worry only about Felix's dress now."  
  
Felix grumbled.  
  
"I'm sure you'll look dazzling, dah-ling." Jenna purred, pinching Felix's cheek.  
  
"You'll steal their hearts!" Mia declared.  
  
"And they'll never know it's you!" Picard -- Felix could swear to Iris -- giggled.  
  
"Someone save me... Or throw me into the loony bin..." Felix muttered unhappily, taking the daisy from behind his ear and shredding it into little bits. Picard began to comb his brown hair, humming a tune under his breath as the girls continued their sewing.  
  
-|-  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"YES!"  
  
(A/N: Sounds like a shouting match between Felix and Isaac... ._.)  
  
"Wouldn't it be easier to break the door down?"  
  
Jenna swallowed another yell of 'yes' once Picard suggested that. She turned to him, beaming.  
  
"It would! Who should do it? Me or you?"  
  
"JENNA!" Felix screamed.  
  
"Okay! Felix decided for us!" Jenna pumped a fist into the air. Her other hand began to glow a bright red. A violently red... red. Yeah. Whatever, VIOLENT.  
  
"Please don't burn the house down, Jenna... That's all I ask..." Mia said. Picard pat her comfortingly on the head.  
  
"Jenna, don't you dare!" Felix yelled from behind the door. "If you do -- "  
  
"You can't ban me from anything! You're not the oldest one under this roof!"  
  
"Picard!" Felix wailed.  
  
"No favors, dearest, not until you come out!"  
  
"I HATE YOU!"  
  
"That stings, love."  
  
"SOMEONE SAVE ME!"  
  
"Don't you even think of jumping out the window!" Jenna shouted, pounding on his door. "You'll land in Mia's rosebushes!"  
  
"Drat you, Mia!"  
  
"Hey! Don't you dare offend Mia!"  
  
"I think we should take cover..." Picard said to Mia. Mia blinked.  
  
"I think we should."  
  
-|-  
  
"Isaac...."  
  
"What is it, Feizhi?"  
  
"Whose house is that, over there? On the hill?"  
  
"The hill? Oh, Felix and Jenna's, why do you ask?"  
  
"...Something on the top floor exploded, I think!"  
  
Isaac stared blankly at the Xian lady for a moment before sighing. "Don't worry... It's a common occurence."  
  
"What?! You mean to say that things spontaneously combust and explode over in that house DAILY?"  
  
"Yeah." He chuckled softly. "When you've known Jenna for a while... You'll get it."  
  
It was Feizhi's turn to stare blankly.  
  
-|-  
  
"Jenna!" Mia shouted as she ran up the stairs littered with splintered chunks of wood. "That was overkill!"  
  
"Sorry, Mia..." Jenna mumbled sheepishly, looking around the dusty second floor. "I think I must've..."  
  
"Felix!"  
  
They ran outside to see Picard standing over Felix, who was looking most uncomfortable on top of Mia's rosebushes.  
  
"Oops..." Jenna mumbled. Mia shrieked and raced over to him.  
  
"Felix... Are you okay?" Picard asked the Venus adept.  
  
"Do I LOOK okay?" Felix snarled back.  
  
"He's okay." Picard told the Imilian healer as she drew near. "He's still snapping at me."  
  
"Shut up, Picard..." Felix grumbled unhappily. "Just get me out of this evil, abhorrent thing of... evilness..."  
  
"Oh no, he's in more serious condition that I thought!" Picard said in mock surprise. "He's starting to use larger words!"  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
-|-  
  
After patching up a very moody, don't-touch-me-I-bite-Felix, Jenna set off on her quest to RULE THE WORLD! ...Actually, no, that's my job. So, she began trying to get Felix into the lovely dress she and Mia had made. Fussed over. Busted their backbones over. Ah, but the key word was 'trying'...  
  
"No! I'm not getting near that!"  
  
"Felix, it's just a fitting!"  
  
"Fitting my -- "  
  
"Felix," Picard sighed, snatching Felix as he ran past, trying to flee from his devil-incarnate sister. "I won't do you-know-what you-know-where."  
  
A pause.  
  
"But, Picard..." Felix cried.  
  
"Picard, I told you! NO INNUENDO LIKE THAT!" Mia yelled, pulling her Righteous Mace from Lord-knows-where and proceeding to beat the heck out of Picard.  
  
Jenna and Felix stood back, very afraid, and watched.  
  
"What did he mean, anyway?" Jenna poked her brother in his side with her elbow. He flushed and looked down at the floor.  
  
"My weekly massage."  
  
Jenna's eyebrow shot up. "So it wasn't... *that* I was hearing all the time, right?"  
  
"That?" Felix blinked innocently.  
  
She sighed. "You virgin."  
  
"I never said I wasn't a virgin!"  
  
"So are you saying you *aren't* a virgin?"  
  
"I don't mean that!"  
  
Jenna cackled at Felix's embarassed bright red blush. "You are, or you aren't?"  
  
"I'm going to tell you!"  
  
"Oh, not even your adorable, lovely little sister who happens to be a pyromaniac?"  
  
Felix gulped before dashing for the door.  
  
-|-  
  
Feizhi was not *naturally* a suspicious woman, but now, she began to think differently.  
  
"Isaac, who is that person running around on fire?"  
  
He seemed to start a moment, then, as he looked around, seeing someone running around, in flames, and screaming bloody murder, he sighed and settled back down.  
  
"Don't worry. Jenna and Felix."  
  
"...Pardon?"  
  
"Jenna sets Felix on fire. No worries; it happens often." Isaac said brightly. Feizhi gaped at him.  
  
"You mean, that woman is allowed to set fire to her own brother?!"  
  
"None of us really like it -- I mean, Felix is a nice guy, really -- but have you ever tried to *persuade* Jenna to *not* set her brother on fire? It's... it's scary. It's almost comparable with Kraden..." Isaac shuddered. "And normally, it's because Felix did something stupid again..."  
  
"For example...?"  
  
"Stealing cookies under her nose, when she told him not to eat any."  
  
Feizhi blinked, biting her lower lip. "Stealing is bad, but cookies?"  
  
"You don't want to ask Jenna for a cookie when she says no. When she means it." Isaac was staring at her seriously. Feizhi looked down, perplexed beyond words. "If you're confused... just don't ask. Trust me."  
  
The Xian woman shook her head and sighed. "I do not want to know..." Isaac chuckled nervously.  
  
-|-  
  
"I think you *want* to be hurt." Jenna muttered, standing before her patched-up brother, hands on her hips. "Silly virgin."  
  
"I'm not a virgin..." Felix croaked, sighing.  
  
"Of course he isn't." Picard said cheerfully, despite the bandage around his head. "I've made sure of that -- "  
  
"Shut up, and I don't know you." Felix cut in, grumbling other things under his breath.  
  
Picard frowned, and reached over to pull at Felix's hair, when a scream from the kitchen startled all of them.  
  
"MIA!" Jenna yelled, dashing off to the Mercury adept's aid.  
  
"...Your darling Jenna is here to save you." Felix muttered in response to Jenna's warcry echoing around the house.  
  
Mia raced back in, crying, and stumbling over her own two feet. "The dress is GONE!" She wailed.  
  
Felix and Picard were stunned.  
  
Felix, of course, was stunned in the: "THANK-YOU-IRIS!" sort of way.  
  
Picard was stunned in the: "What, no Felix in a dress?!" kind of way.  
  
While Mia collapsed onto a couch, and continued to sob, Picard went over to her and comforted her while Jenna screamed things and ran around the house, looking for all the world like a mother hen that had misplaced her only egg. ...Was that a good analogy?  
  
All Felix did, however, was lay back and revel in his luck. But of course, Felix wasn't known for his luck, no. No, not at all.  
  
"Ah hah!" Came Jenna's triumphant cry. Mia looked up.  
  
"YOU FOUND IT?" She cried happily.  
  
"Look!" Jenna brandished the dress before her like a medal she had won for her manic pyromaniacy. Or something along those lines... It now glittered with gems that, all of them were sure, that were not there previously. "Someone must've took it and made it even prettier!"  
  
Felix curled up into a ball and started crying. (How very manly of him.) Picard sighed and went over to him.  
  
"The world hasn't ended, Felix..." He said. "...yet..."  
  
"I'm going to kill them!" Felix shrieked, sounding much like Jenna on a coffee-high. "And then use Revive on them and -- and -- chop them up again!"  
  
Mia blinked. Jenna stared.  
  
"...Felix, what they did is a *good* thing." Mia said tentatively.  
  
"A *GOOD* THING?!" He jumped up, ignoring Picard's protests. "FOR YOU! Because YOU'RE not the one CROSSDRESSING!"  
  
Jenna frowned. Picard immediately dove for a hiding place, and Mia snatched the dress and scurried away to safety. Felix, for some strange reason, did not back down from his sister.  
  
"Felix." Jenna said evenly. "You can do this the easy way, or the hard way. Apologize to Mia, or I'll torch you to cinders."  
  
"Torch me." Felix dared. "Then I won't have to go THROUGH with this hellish idea of yours -- "  
  
And BOOM went the Felix.  
  
-|-  
  
End  
  
-|-  
  
AIIIYEEE! Don't hurt me don't hurt me don't hurt me don't hurt me! o_O;; I've seriously been too busy to write that much... ::Hits self:: And I'm writing OTHER things in what little "spare time" I have. ::Continues whacking self::  
  
So, stories I'm currently juggling all at once:  
  
- Your Everyday Life  
  
- Structure (Unposted, FFTA yaoi) [I don't intend on posting this one either. XD It's just a little spoof of a whim I had...]  
  
- Color (Angst, drama, blood and stuff) [Adrogynous pairing, yay. o_O I need to look it over again... It's a double suicide. x_x;; For Shadow's (Formerly Shadow the Hanyou) birthday.]  
  
- Carmine Sky (On FP.Net)  
  
- The Elements  
  
- The Last Element  
  
- Molten  
  
Eeeeggg... e_e;;  
  
BOOM WENT THE FELIX!  
  
-- Azu 


	7. Sweet Things

Sweet Things  
  
-- FELIX IN A DRESS! --  
  
Well, almost, anyways.  
  
Picard x Felix sapfest! Sapfest! Kissies! =0 And hyper Mia! O_O; Lucky you, 'tis a long chapter (for once). XD IT'S A LONG CHAPTER! HUZZAH!  
  
I'm sorry. I'm still stalling... X_X;; The contest REALLY WILL BEGIN next chapter. You just have to have the events leading up to it, and etc. etc... ::Hopes she isn't mauled::  
  
-|-  
  
Sweet Things --  
  
-- Finally, the (beginning of the) competition! And, er, lotsa glomping.  
  
-|-  
  
He was running a mantra through his head: This isn't fair, my sister is evil, all Lemurians are evil, this isn't fair, Djinn deserve to be thoroughly barbequed, why the heck am I in a dress?! He wheezed.  
  
"Jenna, the corset is too tight..." Mia said, standing back and observing.  
  
"No it isn't," the Mars adept said cheerfully.  
  
"Felix is blue in the face, Jenna."  
  
"He's so happy he's turning blue, y'know?" Jenna grinned. She poked Felix in the side with a pin, and he yelped.  
  
"Jenna, it won't look good at all if our contestant dies of suffocation before the actual competition." Picard remarked, fanning Felix with a decorational yellow fan.  
  
"Let's ask Felix. Felix, is the corset too tight?"  
  
"...Meep..." Was the only reply.  
  
"I'll take that as a no!" She cackled.  
  
Picard and Mia exchanged worried glances.  
  
"I think I heard something crack." Mia told Jenna, frowning with worry as Felix squeaked and meeped.  
  
"Ah, must be his spine..." Jenna muttered. "Didn't know you had one, bro. Never the agressor in a relationship, eh?"  
  
Felix turned red at this comment, which, with the earlier blue color, made him purple in the face. Picard coughed and glanced at something invisible at the wall as he continued to fan the Venus adept. Mia tittered.  
  
"Jenna! It's Garet!"  
  
"Eargh, that was Garet! Hide Felix, Mia! I'll go talk to him for a moment!"  
  
"Where, Jenna?" Mia asked frantically, picking up scattered bits of ribbon and loose pins.  
  
"The closet! Somewhere Garet isn't going to go!"  
  
"Jenna? Are you in there?"  
  
"Coming, Garet!"  
  
Jenna was beginning to regret asking Mrs. Jerra for some of her Angara- famous oatmeal cookies. It was only obvious she was going to force her son to run over to their house and drop them off... And being the generous soul Mrs. Jerra was, she probably provided some jam and a pie to go with it. Jenna had an inkling, too, that Garet was plotting to stay and eat some of that pie. "Garet, hi!" Jenna positioned herself against the doorframe in such a way that it was impossible to get past her without bodily forcing her out of the way, and they both knew Garet didn't have the guts to do something that foolhardy.  
  
"Hey, Jenna. I brought the cookies. And a pie and some jam..."  
  
How did she know? Jenna would have sighed and rolled her eyes had Garet not been there. "Thank you, Garet. MIA," she called, louder than was necessary. "Are you coming DOWN?"  
  
Garet didn't seem to notice (For some odd reason).  
  
"Uh, erm, coming, Jenna! Just give me a -- ow! Ow! Sharp!"  
  
Jenna braced herself against the door. "Um, just wait a moment, Garet dear." She chuckled nervously. Garet blinked. "I think she was trying to -- uh -- juggle the knives again! Yes, that's right."  
  
Garet blinked again. "I didn't know Mia could juggle knives... Can I see?"  
  
"No!" Jenna yelped, gripping his shoulders. After a moment, she relaxed and released him. Garet stared, beginning to be frightened. "Uh -- she's just... learning... You don't want her to hit you, do you? MIA!"  
  
"Just a moment!"  
  
"Ow! What th' hell do you think you're doing, woman? Arms don't bend that way, for Iris -- "  
  
"Don't ask," Jenna cut in before Garet could.  
  
"I... wasn't going to?" Garet shrugged. "Uh, but why is Felix yelling so loudly?"  
  
" -- and don't you dare touch my hair, you evil, soulless, son of -- "  
  
Whack. Jenna's eyes considerably widened. Thud. Now Garet was getting worried, too.  
  
Mia finally came downstairs, her hair poking out in various places. She greeted Garet, seeming to talk to herself and giggle occasionally.  
  
"Mia! Mia, tell me Felix didn't hurt you in some vicious brotherly way!"  
  
"He didn't hurt me, Jenna-love. I just... ohh... I didn't know Mercury Djinn could tango..."  
  
Jenna, thus, began "freaking out." As in, the Jenna-way of "freaking out."  
  
"FELIX! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" She roared, storming up the stairs two at a time. Mia coughed and plopped down on the nearest chair.  
  
"What do you have, Garet?" She asked innocently.  
  
"Um, cookies, pie and -- "  
  
"Cookies!" Mia screamed, launching herself at him, her former weariness forgotten. "Cookies! GIVE ME COOKIES!"  
  
Garet yelled in surprise. The jam went flying.  
  
-|-  
  
"Felix!" Bam. There went the door he had ONLY just replaced... "What the hell did you do my precious Mia?!"  
  
"I didn't... it... him..." Felix mumbled incoherently. He lay on his bed, the yellow dress spilling over the edge of the mattress.  
  
Him? Picard? Where *was* Picard, anyway?  
  
"...Under..." Felix groaned, looking as though he had a horrible headache or something. Jenna lifted the edge of the bed sheets.  
  
"Um, hi?"  
  
"Picard," Jenna hissed, her tone a frigid, Tundarian-night cold. "Get out. Explain. Now."  
  
"Yes ma'am," he replied meekly, crawling out from under Felix's bed as slowly as possible without getting yelled at.  
  
"What did you do to Mia?"  
  
"Nothing, ma'am." Picard stared down at the floor, whimpering. "She... Well... I can't help it if she's a pervert!"  
  
Jenna gaped a moment, working her jaw.  
  
"...Excuse me?"  
  
Hurrying on without pausing, Picard said, "When Felix was complaining so much I hit him and kissed him and then Mia turned around to see what the noise was and because she's a pervert..." Picard paused. "...Wait. I'm lost..."  
  
"I am, too." Jenna blinked. "I didn't know Mia of all people was a -- "  
  
"She likes guys making out, basically..." Felix muttered darkly from the bed. He had apparently recovered while Picard had explained. "Evil women the lot of you are."  
  
Jenna stared. Her eyes bored into the far wall. And if that wall didn't start smoldering under the intensity of her gaze, she would damn well MAKE it smolder with her own hands.  
  
"...Never knew Mia was a voyeur." Felix sighed.  
  
"Shut up, Felix."  
  
"Hey, it's the truth." Felix rose to a sitting position. "She just freaked the moment tongue entered the picture..."  
  
"Felix..." Picard squeaked.  
  
Jenna twitched.  
  
There came a: "MIA, GET OFF ME!" from downstairs. Jenna glanced at the boys and left, shrieking to high heaven.  
  
Picard turned to Felix. Felix was holding a pillow to his chest possessively, glowering at something invisible on the bed.  
  
"...Er..."  
  
"I hate you." The crossdresser grumbled.  
  
"B-but Felix..." Picard whimpered. "I... I..." He tackled the Venus adept, earning a strangled stream of curses and a scratch under one eye. "I still love you!"  
  
Felix, by some chance of fate, once again ended up being bottom. He glared up at teary golden eyes. He sighed and turned his head to stare at the wall. "You're evil."  
  
"I am not evil!" Picard cried. "Unless it's evil to love you!"  
  
Something wet dropped onto Felix's cheek. Felix glanced up. Picard was *crying*. Fine then, screw the grumpy act.  
  
"You baby..." Felix murmured, twining his arms around the Lemurian's neck and drawing him down. "There's no way I can hate you... the best sailor in the world... the best kisser... the only person I've really cared about that's survived my sister's red days... You're so silly sometimes..."  
  
"Felix...?"  
  
"I haven't tried sticking you in cookie dough yet, anyway..." He continued quietly, partially to himself. His fingers trailed slowly through the Lemurian's hair. Picard meeped. "Got to get around to that."  
  
"You don't hate me?"  
  
"Of course not." He chuckled. "Really, do you never consider the components of our relationship? What makes us click?"  
  
"Everything?" Picard asked innocently.  
  
"Well -- " Felix paused. "...I guess so."  
  
"Can I still consider putting you in a dress as foreplay?"  
  
"No." He said firmly.  
  
"Aww... Fe..." Picard whined, giving him his best puppy eyes.  
  
"Fine. I get to stick you in cookie dough."  
  
"Sounds fun."  
  
They stared at each other for a moment. Picard smiled. Felix grinned. And they kissed.  
  
-|-  
  
(Sap-sap-sap-sap! XD)  
  
Jenna stood at the top of the staircase, staring downwards at the horrendous sight that ravaged her eyes.  
  
Which shall not be described here -- aw, what the heck! That's what you guys are here for! To see the gore! The murder! The --  
  
Sorry. Back on track...  
  
"MIA!"  
  
"Hi Jenna!" Mia waved. She saw on Garet's chest, feeding him a cookie. "Wanna cookie?"  
  
"Mia!" Jenna flew down the stairs faster than ever before, wrenching Mia off Garet. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"  
  
"Save...me..." Garet twitched. He had purple jam in his hair. Jenna gaped. Mia giggled. "...Cookie..."  
  
"Mia! What did you do to him?" Jenna asked, afraid of what the answer might be. "You -- you -- you're a pervert!" Jenna hugged the still-giggling Water adept to her, giving a dramatic cry: "Why, Mia, why?!"  
  
After another giggle or two, Mia responded, "'cause!"  
  
"Oh, Mia, where did I go wrong? Why do the gods curse me so? Why? WHY? Iris, wh -- "  
  
"Can it, Jenna."  
  
Jenna whirled. Felix, back in normal attire, was making his way down the stairs.  
  
"Don't interrupt my dramatic breakdown!" She snapped, still holding Mia against her.  
  
"That's exactly WHY I'm interrupting." Felix said dryly.  
  
"Felix? I think I missed a barette -- " Picard haulted at the look of pure fury sent his way via Jenna. "...Uh..."  
  
"You did not." Felix tore something out of his hair and chucked it at the Lemurian, then turning back to his Shakespearean sister. "Now, Jenna... Let's get Mia in her right set of mind, and throw Garet out..."  
  
"Go back upstairs, Felix! I hope you don't really think I can't see those hickeys!"  
  
Felix instantly paled. Picard began slinking back up the stairs backwards.  
  
"That's off the subject, Jenna," Felix said, attempting to adjust the collar of his shirt without looking suspicious. "Get your arse back down here, Picard."  
  
"Felix, Jenna's going to eat me..."  
  
"She will not. I have to eat you later, right?"  
  
The innuendo didn't go unnoticed. Mia giggled. Picard whimpered.  
  
"...Fe, love... I don't think I really like you as the one 'in charge'..." Picard squeaked.  
  
"W-wait, when did this shift of power happen?" Jenna asked, looking warily between her dark and menacing evil older brother and the timid sailor inching further upstairs.  
  
"Just a little while ago." Felix grinned, brushing past her to haul Garet up by the front of his shirt. "Now, you oaf, out."  
  
"Cookie..." Garet mumbled.  
  
Felix threw him outside without mercy.  
  
"Garet!" Mia called. "Your cookie!"  
  
"Jenna, she's not mentally sound. Picard-get-down-here, and don't you whimper at me. If you can't get her back to normal -- PICARD, I'm warning you -- we'll have to resort to drastic measures."  
  
While Picard was wondering how Felix suddenly grew invisible eyes in the back of his head, Jenna stared worriedly at Mia, running her hands through the other girl's soft hair.  
  
"...By drastic measures, what do you mean?"  
  
"Kraden's form of psychiatry." Felix said, his tone dead even. Picard gasped.  
  
"Dear Kirin, no!" Jenna clenched Mia suddenly, her eyes darting to her elder brother. "You wouldn't do that, Felix! I -- I'd hate you!"  
  
"There's your incentive. Get Mia back to normal."  
  
Jenna burst out into tears.  
  
-|-  
  
The contest was only in a few more days. (At least, I think it was...) And hopefully, sometime during those three days, Mia would return to blessed sanity. Though Felix wasn't looking forward (at all) to the competition, he was sure things would still go much easier if Mia wasn't trying to stuff his face full of cookies until then.  
  
"AAAH! NO! NO! SAVE MEEEEE!"  
  
Felix didn't bother looking up from his book as Picard ran past, screaming like a girl, with Mia hot on his heels, holding one giant hell of a cookie over her head. He sighed and flipped the page. When Jenna also ran past, holding her Tisiphone Edge and screaming a warcry, he didn't as much as blink. 'Tis daily life for poor Felix, you see. (^_~;;)  
  
"Two days, Felix. Two days until the contest. And Mia's no more near sanity than she was a day ago." Picard sighed to him, the next day, dropping onto the bed and curling up beside him.  
  
"You'll get through to her sometime," Felix said to him, continuing to read his book without looking up at him. "I'm sure a bloodthirsty Jenna will get her back to her senses fairly quickly."  
  
"But Jenna's already tried dicing her... It's no use!"  
  
"Iris's will." Felix said, turning the page.  
  
"What are you reading, anyway?" Before Felix could respond, Picard yanked the book out of his hands, staring at the cover. "'1001 Ways to Avoid Your Sister.' ...Felix... I think we need to talk. Again."  
  
"Again?" Felix echoed. "About what?"  
  
"...Um. Us."  
  
"What's there to talk about us? I love you, you love me, you get to consider me in a dress as foreplay as long as I get to stuff you in cookie dough... Is there anything else left unsettled?"  
  
Picard winced at the word 'cookie.' "Well... Are you... happy?"  
  
Felix blinked. "What do you mean by that?"  
  
The Lemurian took the beauty into his arms, pressing their cheeks together. "We're in love, but are you... happy? As in, really happy? Glad we're in a relationship?"  
  
"Haven't we gone over this before?" Felix turned to glare at him, but at Picard's sincerely troubled eyes, he sighed. "Picard... There isn't a difference between love and happiness, is there?"  
  
"There's a difference! You can be happy, but not in love. And you can be in love but not be..." He trailed off.  
  
"When you're in love, you're happy. You make me happy, Picard. That's it."  
  
Picard gave a sigh of relief. Felix rolled his eyes, turning his head to peck his cheek. "You silly dodo."  
  
"Dodo?"  
  
"Heard it from Mia; not asking."  
  
Picard made a sort of 'I'm-not-at-all-surprised' snort while Felix giggled against his neck. (Felix! Giggled! They don't belong together in the same sentence, unless 'drinking' was somewhere there before! o_O;;) And then, their day was over.  
  
-|-  
  
"You can't catch meee!"  
  
"Come back here, you scamp -- "  
  
"Heehee!" Thok. Jenna bent downwards.  
  
"Mia? Are you okay?"  
  
"Nnnghh.."  
  
"Mia? Mia, tell me you're okay!"  
  
"N...not... okay..."  
  
"Mia! NOOOOOOO!"  
  
"Jenna? What's going on?" Picard looked out from the kitchen, a chef's hat sitting askew on his head.  
  
"Picard!" Jenna leaped at him, her eyes desperate. "You have to save Mia! She's too young to die!"  
  
"Mia? ...Is she back to normal?"  
  
"That's the point!" Jenna wailed.  
  
"It was?"  
  
"DON'T BE STUPID! Save Mia! Go! Now!" Jenna shoved him in the direction of the fallen healer. Picard blinked.  
  
"...Jenna, um..."  
  
"Go! Save her! BE A HERO!" Her large brown eyes watered.  
  
Picard's eyebrow rose. "Jenna, I'm in a chef's hat and apron, and I have a ladle in my hand. And don't you have healing Psynergy anyways? And Felix does too -- "  
  
"Jenna?" Mia asked, walking towards them and rubbing her head.  
  
"MIA!" Jenna uber-tackled Mia. "You're ALIVE! Oh thank Iris!"  
  
Mia gave the Mars adept a very strange look. "I, um... Was I dead to begin with?"  
  
"No, Jenna just thought you were..." Picard sighed, retreating back into the kitchen. "Felix, get your paws off those brownies!" A sound whack followed, along with a shriek.  
  
Felix ran out, screaming, "Sadist, sadist!"  
  
"I am not a sadist!" Picard threw the ladle at Felix's head, and the distressed Venus adept couldn't avoid it. "Nobody touches my brownies!"  
  
Jenna and Mia watched, intrigued and disturbed at the same time. Felix ran around them, clutching his poor ladle-beaten head and crying.  
  
"...I think... you got to him, Mia..." Jenna said slowly.  
  
"I... what?"  
  
"...Nothing..."  
  
"It hurts! You hit my head! You slapped my hand! AND YOU GROPED ME!"  
  
"I did not!"  
  
"Umm... Jenna, love..." Mia said, pulling aside the Mars adept, away from the girl's crazy older brother and his lover. "The contest...?"  
  
"Uh, yeah -- that. We haven't made much progress with you on a cookie-slash- sugar-slash-something-really-dark-and-scary-high. Once Felix is back to normal -- hopefully, sometime soon -- we can finish up on his hair and makeup, okay?"  
  
"That'll be fine. Oh... should we stop Picard? He looks... murderous."  
  
"Don't worry. He always looks murderous when he wants to do something really bad to our lovely Felix. It'll probably get him back to normal... Come on, let's go scheme." With a foxy grin on her face, Jenna tugged Mia back into the kitchen, where they would snack on Picard's brownies and plot to Rule the World.  
  
"Get your hands off my -- "  
  
"This is for touching my brownies!"  
  
"Aiiiee!"  
  
-|-  
  
While Felix lay on the couch, half-dead with a pack of ice resting on his rear (With many thanks to Picard), Jenna and Mia decided which colors would "accent Felix's eyes and lips to their fullest extent." Felix, of course, had to put in his two cents (Er, coins) about it, and promptly got another sound whack from his sister. He then decided, thereafter, that it was better just to shut up. Picard, who stood nearby, had to agree.  
  
"Shut up, Picard."  
  
"That's *your* job, lovely." Picard cooed, patting Felix's messy brown hair.  
  
Felix was tempted to say something rather inappropiate, but he was worried that both the Lemurian and readers alike would get rather... interesting images, so he bit his tongue and did not speak the words out loud.  
  
"So if the dress is yellow, his scarves are a light orange..."  
  
"Then maybe a soft brown?"  
  
"What are we going to do with his hair?"  
  
"Curl it?"  
  
"There's no way in the seven HELLS that his hair could curl..."  
  
Mia gave a long-suffering sigh. "Then we have no choice... we'll have to do it up."  
  
"He doesn't have enough *hair* to do some nice bun, though..."  
  
"Simple braided look?"  
  
"With beads?" Jenna faltered. "Well..."  
  
"And if we tied the rest of it back, say, with one of those nice tortoise- shell barettes, it would look nice..."  
  
"You'd have to trim his split ends, though." Picard remarked.  
  
"Shut UP, Picard..." Felix muttered, burrowing his head under a pillow.  
  
"See, that's how you get your split ends, darling." He chuckled.  
  
"I thought it came from stress."  
  
"Well..."  
  
"Can it, you Lemurian."  
  
-|-  
  
End  
  
-|-  
  
Sap! It's your best friend!  
  
...Er, yeah. ^^; I promise chapter 8 will be up sooner than this was... More than two effin' months! I suck. u_u;; I've been busy writing one- shots. ::Sigh:: Bad Azu.  
  
I hope you enjoyed the waffyness, anyway...  
  
*Azu (Who needs a break!)  
  
PS: If you've played Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire, and like yaoi, please check out Spontaneity, a Brendan x Wally one-shot I posted yesterday. ^-^ Thanxx much! 


End file.
